Mahabodhi Mahavihara Photos

Bodhi Tree 6AM
Maha Bodhi Maha Vihara at Dawn





Two Young Monks as seen by Deki

Looking back, take 2 (farewell to Bodhgaya - for the present, and Chod drums)

picture: night shot of the Mahabodhi temple from the north side: where I did my last meditation before leaving the temple grounds.


It is almost 7 am on Tuesday morning and I slept well. I am thinking that the time adjustment may occur more easily than expected. however, I will share with you something I saw on the bus. As we sat on the bus from the airport in Delhi back to Potala guest house to do our last-hour shopping and pack to leave, Rinpoche had told us she heard there was a significant cold-snap in the mid-west to which we would be returning - one that had caused many deaths - and to dress warmly. It was not until I got to Amsterdam and checked the internet that I learned there had been a severe ice storm cross the midsection of the country causing many deaths, and that it was moving into the northeast. However, it had been south of us, and so Wisconsin was basically spared. Our weather was seasonable for January - cold, but no ice storm. However, at the time this was all that we knew and we hoped that our return journey would not hold the challenges of the previous 24 hours. Rinpoche was sitting alone in the front seat of the bus, and I was across the aisle from her, so I witnessed her do something quietly that I believe no one else saw. Right after this conversation, she made gestures with her hands as though she was calming down and smoothing out something. My thoughts were that she was blessing our return home so that it would go smoothly and the storms would abate. I never actually asked her what she was doing - or even acknowledged that I saw her do anything. I wanted to respect her privacy. Now however, she will obviously find out that I observed her.

Anyway, back to the last hours in Bodhgaya....

After we returned from Mahakala cave, my first concern was to make it to the tailor and get the items he was working on for me. I had returned parts of my summer robes a few days before that he had incorrectly made, and wanted to check them out to make sure there would be a few hours left if he needed to make even more alterations. Group by group, many of us showed up at the tailor to pick up our orders. We almost don't need to speak any more. He knows who we are and what we came for. He saw me, wordlessly invited me to sit, brought me a small glass of milk tea, and ironed my items. I paid him for the shentaup with patches (everything else was an alteration of something he had made previously that was already paid for).

After tenzhuk, followed by our strong meditations for Rinpoche's long life and health, I, like many others, went back to Mahabodhi temple for one last chance to meditate and do kora. One sect of Tibetan monks were chanting, joined by lay people of that tradition. I enjoyed kora for the last time (this visit anyway), prayed at the bodhi tree and then sat at the spot of Green Tara on the north side of the temple and meditated. As I meditated, the group of monks came and did kora several times around the temple, chanting as they went. I heard them pass as I meditated. Eventually, I got up from meditation. I will miss this holy place. There is an energy like no other. It is more than the site of Lord Buddha's enlightenment - 25 centuries of the prayers and devotions of pilgrims who come here has left an indelible mark. I joined my prayers and devotions to those of millions, perhaps billions, of others. However, there was still much to do before sleep and so I reluctantly left the temple. I decided to swing by the stand where we were expecting a shipment of chod drums. I was very disappointed to discover that the stand was closed. No more chod drums, I thought. I then did something I almost never did. I took a bicycle rickshaw back to the hotel. I always walked. But this last night, in the dark, after a long day, I rode back.

Background information: Some days before, Rinpoche sent word through N. Pema that she was giving us permission to obtain chod drums. Some time this coming year, she would introduce us to chod practice. (It was only a few hours later that we discovered that a group of approx 200 nuns had arrived in town to perform a group chod at the temple. Needless to say, we all went to observe. But I commented on this in a previous posting.) Then Rinpoche and her attendants went through the market looking for a seller of chod drums so we would know where to obtain good quality drums. a vendor was found, and the 6 drums he had were soon sold out to members of our group. He knew we needed about 16 more and he ordered them in from Dharamsala. He expected the order by bus on the evening of the 12th.

This was the 12th. We would leave Bodhgaya by bus at 6 am on the 13th.

I returned to the hotel to complete packing and was laying down resting when the word came that the vendor was downstairs in the lobby with his shipment of chod drums. Earlier in the day, N. Pema had asked him to bring his drums to our hotel when they arrived and we would purchase them then. I was fortunate to be among the first down there and chose a drum that was ani-sized. Not too big - but with a good sound. There is extensive use of the drum during chod and if you get one that is too large and heavy for you, you may find it very painful for your arm & wrist. By twos and threes our group straggled back to the hotel from their last outings in Bodhgaya and joined in choosing their drum. In the end, almost each of us had one. The vendor did very well that day - but so did we.

For the students who were not with us, please do not ask to try out our chod drums. Rinpoche instructed that our own drum was like our mala. Once we have started to use it, others are not to touch it. We are not to show it off or play it carelessly. It is a sacred instrument. We can practice and learn to use it properly. In fact, Rinpoche said that those who did not practice and could not play the drum properly, would not be allowed to learn chod, so we'd better practice. Carrying the chod drums around for the next 48 hours became an interesting feature of our very long bus ride! At times, we brought them out and practiced.

We did meditation practice and went to bed, packed and ready for an early and long day. The plan for the following day would be long. Arise early; have bags in the lobby by 5:15 am, breakfast buffet at 5:30 am and board the bus at 6 am. Drive several hours to Rajgir (Massed Vultures Peak), spend several hours and have a teaching; back on the bus for a few more hours and arrive at the ruins of Nalanda university. Spend a couple of hours and have another teaching. The back on the bus for another few hours ride to Patna for a plane flight to Delhi. Arrive at Potala guest house by 10:30 pm and spend the night. We would have the next day (the 14th) to pick up our things from the tailors there and do our last bits of shopping before the first group left at 9:30 pm by bus for the airport and the trip home. A tight schedule, but doable. Well....it didn't go exactly that way. The best laid plans.....are subject to the vagarities of the Delhi weather patterns. Unlike America, few aircraft in India can land on instruments. When the Delhi airport gets socked with fog, air travel around the country stops.....

may there be a rain of dharma

Samsara sucks. And sometimes it sucks even more ...

Rinpoche warned us that Mahakala cave was not only the place where the former prince Siddharta meditated for several years, not only the place where a very advanced meditator had a vision of Mahakala the protector, but also the home of hundreds of beggars, living on the former charnel grounds of a long ago cemetery.

I thought we were prepared. And yet, as dozens of beggars lined up along the winding path leading to Mahakala cave, even though we teamed up, we could hardly provide enough coins for a seemingly endless line of beggars. As we walked down the path, dozens more appeared from the nearby hills running to sit at the end of the line.

At first i was hoping not to run out of money and then i realized that though it would make me feel better, it would not really solve anything. And so i kept on thinking of Rinpoche's earlier words: "Give with no sense of loss and no sense of pity. It is [just] their current incarnation." So i gave with a wish for a better future and a better incarnation for them, if this is what is indicated.

And when i ran out of coins - i did not buy more to make me feel better. I do not wish to feel better. I wish to help in a more sustainable way...

As I walked up to Rinpoche, I heard her explain that many of these beggars were karmically tied to these charnel grounds, and were being reborn there over and over again...
Sometimes, Samasara really sucks!~

My friends, we have work to do...

Outer charnal ground - Mahakala Cave

Deserted dusty road and we pass toiling laborers using rudimentary tools to chisel rock out of the quarry -- grueling backbreaking work for even the most agile. Out of the bus and into a ring of fiery heat, the sun is pounding down on us. The denizens of this barren place screaming and begging for even a rupee.

Not starving, but many appearing lame physically and impoverished spiritually. Feet connected to a holy place, energy of recognition rising in my belly we begin the long climb in the blazing sun. Dust coating our shoes, our robes, settling on our faces and in our throats.

Two guards walking with us fending off the beggars who are trying to grab at us. Light headed from the walk as we reached the top, crouching in a darkened cave, only a few butter lamps burning, chanting prayers for the destruction of obstacles.

Impermanence rampant, the taste of suffering in my mouth. Prayers complete, heading down the path. Beggars lined up as far as we could see -- hundreds and hundreds of rupee coins tossed one per beggar into the ragged skirt or beaten cup. Except the blind or unwell, where showers of blessed coins landed on each blanket.

Heruka Chakrasamvara. Charnel Ground. Mahakala Cave. The reason we are here. Fearlessness of the Bodhisattva in the face of suffering. In the face of hellish conditions. In the face of the blazing heat and fire of our own self cherishing.

Fearlessness and compassion that shields us from all suffering so that we may help others.

This is my outer experience of the charnel ground.

Looking back, take 1 (Mahakala Cave & tenzhuk)

Pictures: Mahakala cave entrance; N. Jugney & Pema Dorje @ Mahakala cave monastery (notice the monkey on the roof behind them); Charnel grounds

Our last few days in India were so full and fast that we did not have time to get to an internet cafe, so here in the Amsterdam airport, where we have an almost 5-hour layover, I will reflect back on those days.

On our last full day in Bodhgaya, we actually spent the morning on a "field trip" to Mahakala cave. It was here that Lord Buddha Shakyamuni reputedly spent 6 years meditating before he went to Bodhgaya and attained full enlightenment, so he was still Prince Siddhartha at the time. Here too, a famous meditator (I am unsure who as I sit here in the airport) meditated and saw Mahakala in the interior come to him. The cave is small and sits high on a cliff side. There is a small Tibetan monastery at the site that maintains it. The bus drove us to the foot of the cliff side and we took the steep path upwards - needing to stop and rest several times. At the foot of the path is another site important to tantric Buddhism - although it is not marked. One of the 8-great cemeteries was located here. This place was charnel grounds, where the bodies of the dead were left unburied to decay. It was where high level meditators (highest yoga tantra) went to meditate on impermanence and to develop fearlessness. Rinpoche had explained a bit of this process to me privately. What follows is a compilation of the private conversation and notes from her teaching at Mahakala cave.:

The very fast path to enlightenment is that of highest yoga tantra. Being very
quick, it is a bit like being in a high- energy pressure cooker. Under high
pressure, even the smallest defect will show clearly. In order to clear obscurations and return to purity, one must be fearless of this, enduring it in order to clarify quickly. When the yidam manifest in this form, they are not shown as peaceful (i.e., lovely features, smiling and dressed in jewels, etc); they are shown in wrathful form (fearsome appearance, typically holding what appear to be weapons and bones). It is indicative of their high energy, and fearlessness. The weapons are implements to cut the ego-centrism and all those obscurations that keep us bound fast to samsara and suffering. When Chenrezig (aka Avilokiteshvara and also Quan Yin), the Buddha of Compassion, appears in wrathful form, he is Mahakala - a fearsome sight. But the
wrathful form has as much compassion as the peaceful form. It is in our perception of the form that we have obscurations. How fearless are you in facing up to your impurities? Too much of our energy has been stolen from our actual being and come outside where it has become very dense - like molasses. This is the hardest energy to train. We need a process from which the denseness/confusion is removed. Much of our suffering is located in this denseness. During meditation (especially on the removal of obstacles) the wrathful buddha comes in order to remove obstacles.) Don't play with these practices (i.e., protector practices). It is wrong to spread the protector practices around the world. This is not Tibet under persecution. People may use these to seek power. It will not be beneficial to you to say, "Oh, now I am so
powerful." When we need it, the protector will come to us to remove this denseness & confusion.

Rinpoche said we had the fortunate karma to be able to stand on the outer site of one of the 8-great cemeteries of highest yoga tantra - and to always remember this.

Rinpoche soon sent Chonyi and John ahead of us with offerings of tea and other items, as well as rupees, to the monastery. When we arrived, the monk who is caretaker there met us. Rinpoche introduced herself and asked for tea for the group. As we waited for tea, we sat and Rinpoche gave a teaching. A western woman with dark hair came to Rinpoche and began to ask her questions. I did not follow the entire conversation, but at one point, Rinpoche asked the woman where she had seen her before. Had she come to see Rinpoche in NY? in Kalimpong? Did she recall? The woman reported nothing that I heard. If she knew, she was not saying. Rinpoche then said that it must have been somewhere, because the woman still carried Rinpoche's blessing on the inside and that she should do practice more diligently.

When tea came, it was Tibetan butter tea. I've had butter tea several times, and I must admit I was less than enthused. However, this butter tea was actually good. So for any butter tea aficionados out there, the butter tea at Mahakala cave is outstanding.

After tea, we went into the cave and offered katas. Then everyone squeezed in and as a group we read the Mahakala prayer 3 times; we circumnambulated the small stupa at the monastery and went back to sit again. The monk who had first met us came and sat and talked with Rinpoche. He had attended Drepung monastery, but had left before obtaining his geshe degree. Rinpoche joked with him about being a half-geshe - using the inside terminology that apparently those who have been through the Geluk monastery system know. He and Rinpoche laughed quite a bit over that. Rinpoche asked who his teacher was - his root guru. He told Rinpoche the name of the Rinpoche who was his root guru, and it was someone that our Rinpoche knew as a friend. Rinpoche seemed to light up on the inside at hearing the name. Rinpoche held her hand to her heart as she reported that he had been a dear friend. She then "checked" the monk more closely (typically Rinpoche does not check those who are not her students so closely. I think this is partly to respect their privacy and partly to conserve her own energy). Rinpoche told him that the blessing of his guru was still alive in him, and that his guru loved him (as was apparent to her when she saw the blessing alive in his interior). He became so enthused that he went and brought a kata that had been blessed by his root guru to show Rinpoche. Then Rinpoche pressed her palms together and requested on behalf of his root guru (who has passed away) that he honor and hold his monastic vows strongly. She asked him to share one special teaching that he recalls from his root guru; he mentioned something about meditation. The monk told Rinpoche that when she arrived at the monastery, he felt the same energy from her that he had felt with his root guru. It was a wonderful moment to witness. Deki took pictures of the monk, and perhaps she even has a video of the interaction. I am not sure. Her camera can do both. I posted pictures from this encounter on a subsequent posting.

Soon it was time to descend the hill. It was like running the gauntlet. Beggars lined the descent all asking for money. We had brought many small rupees, but most of us ran out before reaching the bottom of the hill. I noticed that as we descended, the children from higher up ran swiftly by a back path down the hill to line up again below and get more money. Changchub saw one infant with kwasiorkor, but mostly the beggars were well-fed. They have a steady supply of donations from the busloads of pilgrims who arrive to Mahakala cave every day.

As we left, Rinpoche commented on the children, who ran swiftly along the hills and seemed to appear and disappear like the wind. She said that those born near charnel grounds tend to return to the same types of places again and again - having an intense neediness, they return to similar circumstances. For some of them, Rinpoche had prayed that they do not return to this place again in future lives, but have lives of greater opportunity where they can make something of themselves. It reminded me that opportunity is in the mind, and if you do not think there is opportunity available to you - it won't manifest. What a blessing to have that karma changed for you by the buddhas and their sons & daughters - who reach out in great compassion to sentient beings.

When we returned, we had only a few hours to complete preparations for tenzhuk - which was done with great affection and reverence. After the ceremony, most of us stayed for some time in strong practice requesting health and long life for our precious teacher.

We invite all of Rinpoche's students to join us in strong prayers for her long life. May she remain long to benefit sentient beings. May the entire lineage support this work! and may there be a rain of dharma.

See you inside...

As our practioner group meditated in the Mahakala cave, I was struck once more at a theme that runs in echoes throughout the trip: The outer representations of inner places of worship.

It echoed through the teaching at Mahakala cave, the site overlooking the charnel grounds of one of the 8 great cemetaries associated with Heruka practice. It echoed through a teaching Rinpoche gave to visiting Americans in Bodhgaya when their guide - a student of Buddhism asked about Maitreya's arrival and the prediction that all Buddhas would be born in India and attain enlightenment in the same place. - like the Bodhi tree that Siddharta reputedly stared at for two weeks. "He did not stare at the tree!" said Rinpoche. "He probably did not even see the tree. He was looking inside."

Likewise, "Is Bodhgaya, Bodhgaya?" she asked in an uncharacteristically enigmatic voice?

For those of us who still did not follow, Rinpoche made it very clear: "It is not about the tree, it is not about the lotus..."

It is about the actual practice...

As Dolma and I -the last remaining pilgrims at closing time- squeezed through the illuminating gates of the Mahabodhi temple in Bodhgaya, her spoken words echoed in my heart: See you inside...

What do I tell my mother?

My Catholic mother wants to know why i want to meditate and why not stick to prayers-- Preferably the kind that starts with "Our Lord" and end with "Amen". I tell her: "The difference between praying and meditating is the difference between talking and listening. So many people say they pray to God and that God does not answer their prayers. But do they ever stop and listen?"

Enlighten up!

As a new student, one of the things I admire most about Rinpoche is her ability to communicate deep wisdom with an unwavering sense of humor. This ability to make us smile does not diminish the importance of the message nor does it lessen its impact. In fact, i imagine that laughter allows me to learn better because I listen better. I experience it as a direct access to my heart where learning happens. This is an invitation to join me in honoring Rinpoche with the same abiding commitment ... and laughter. So celebrate and.. enlighten up!

Tibetan Medicine and requests to the 21 Taras

We have been in Bodhgaya for some time now. Our time here is winding down. I will miss the mahabodhi temple and doing kora around the temple and bodhi tree.

Last evening a group of approx 200 Tibetan nuns performed Chod on the temple grounds. It was wonderful to be present as they all chanted together. Most of our group attended. Rinpoche came to observe part of it and then she did kora, blessed at least one pilgrim (one of this group) that I observed as they were meditating at the temple. I stayed longer and as I left at about 8 pm, was a little surprised to find her still in the environs. Just outside the temple is a Tibetan Medical clinic. A Tibetan doctor will consult with you, read your pulse and if indicated prescribe Tibetan medicine and let you know which foods to avoid (for the time being anyway). Rinpoche had had her pulse read and as we approached, she would say which of us she thought would benefit by consulting the Tibetan doctor. Many of our group have been fighting off a cold or other respiratory condition, and so many are now on a 1-2 week regimen of Tibetan treatments for upper respiratory conditions. I had my "appointment" and am on a 4-month regimen for the knee pain that makes it difficult to get up from sitting on the ground. It's not just middle age - it's treatable. And so I will experience Tibetan medicine as a patient for the first time. I am looking forward to this first-hand exposure to Tibetan medicine. It will expand my understanding of complementary medicine and medical systems around the world.

Yesterday we received the permission initiation for the 21 Tara practice. It is a group practice that is commonly used among Tibetan Buddhists when special requests are being made. Our first purpose for doing the practice as a group is to add the strength of our practice energy to our prayers for world peace. Today we met at the temple grounds, and in the same place where Chod as performed last night, we chanted prayers for world peace, followed by the homage to 21 Taras. As Rinpoche led us, she told us that we are doing this with a mind of service. To pray for world peace from this holy site, empowered by our energy as practitioners is beneficial.

may peace prevail on earth
and may there be a rain of dharma

Not yet walking

Yesterday at the stupa I watched a young Tibetan mother with her toddler who was managing to stand up holding on to her fingers. They stood in front of a buddha statue and she was teaching him how to prostrate, guiding his every move. How wonderful to be taught prostrations before you can walk!

I remembered Rinpoche telling us at the end of summer retreat to stop screaming, get out of our nappies and become potty trained. I know we're all trying hard, sometimes I feel like such a total beginner at everything and very grateful for every tiny step I manage to take here.

Doing kora at the stupa feels like taking the first steps of billions to come...

Also yesterday I went to a Tibetan tent restaurant. I was the only guest sitting there with a young Tibetan woman employee. She was dressed in jeans and trainers, with a trendy haircut, and when I came in she turned on the TV and started playing very loudly some western pop video with a relentless techno beat. I suppose she thought she was doing me a favour. I asked her eventually to turn down the volume.

As we sat together in this dark and dusty place it struck me how here I was travelling in India trying to learn something about ancient Tibetan spiritual practice and culture and this Tibetan woman is trying very hard to behave as much as a Westerner as possible...how we all have so many choices these days, every second in fact, to be someone else, be the best we can be...

Diamond Throne

In the outer world, I suppose the most holy place in Buddhism is the Diamond Throne. Lord Buddha Shakyamuni sat to the east of the Bodhi tree (actually the Pipal tree - now known as Bodhi tree) and there he attained enlightenment. I have read that the current Bodhi tree is a 4th descendant of the original bodhi tree. They track this carefully, I understand. The trunk of the tree is protected by an enclosure, surrounded by stone walls with holes that allow you to look inside. Under the branches to the east of the trunk is a protective golden colored canopy covering the "diamond throne" - this is reputed to be the spot where Lord Buddha Shakyamuni sat. The diamond throne sits between the trunk of the tree and the Mahabodhi temple, which is situated immediately to the east. According to several traditions, the next Buddha of this world system, Maitreya will also attain enlightenment at the same spot.

A couple of days ago, Drichab and I were doing kora around the Mahabodhi temple. I really enjoy kora at this place. There is a very sweet energy to it. As we circled the temple and passed under the branches of the tree again and again, a man in a very nice business suit kept smiling and nodding at me. Then, during one kora as we rounded the corner of the temple and saw the south side of the tree, there was a group of people with monks wearing brown robes near the wall that surrounded the trunk of the tree and the diamond throne. A narrow gate in the wall was being opened and they were being allowed inside in small groups. This same man walked right up to me and said that it was a group visiting with a minister from Singapore, and that he was bringing them here to the Bodhi tree. He looked straight at me and said, "Do you want to go inside?" (How many languages can you say "YES" in?) So he shuttled me up front with the brown-robed monks. When a man who was guarding the gate moved to stop me, the man who invited me to go in said something in another language, and I was allowed to pass. I had to squeeze through the gate sideways - and right there beside me was the trunk of the Bodhi tree; and right before me was the diamond throne. I was able to do prostrations, make prayers and touch my forehead to the golden enclosure. I took a couple of pictures, but I do not have the connections to upload them. So that will have to wait until I return home. I was so fortunate to be right there at "ground zero." However, let me put this in perspective.



Yesterday as Rinpoche was giving a brief teaching to some pilgrims from Boston who heard her bestow lay vows under the Bodhi tree, and requested an appointment with her, a scholar of Buddhism who was among the group (a retired minister of tourism in India) asked about Maitreya. (Reputedly, Maitreya will also attain full enlightnment in Bodhgaya at the same spot under the Bodhi tree. You can see how this sets up every Maitreya-wanna-be to arrange to come to Bodhgaya and try to become conspicuous. I saw one such person when I was doing kora one day.)

In her response, Rinpoche asked him if the prophesy referred to Bodhgaya - this Bodhgaya - and to this tree. Then she said something like, "I say it like an American. I swear to God, it is not about the bodhi tree. The seat is on the interior," as she points to her heart center. They say that for a week Lord Buddha Shakyamuni sat and gazed at the bodhi tree with his eyes unblinking. He was not looking at the bodhi tree. He was looking at the interior. She waved her hands in front of her eyes to demonstrate. You could have done this and he would not have seen. He was not looking outwardly.

May everyone find the diamond throne in their own inner heart
and may there be a rain of dharma.

5 vows later...

how fortunate we all are!

we took lay-vows under the bodhi tree this morning and listened to Rinpoche's beautiful teachings. Several westerners and Tibetans joined us and everyone received a blessing string (sorry don't know the official name) from Rinpoche afterwards.
I feel especially blessed because she is practising her German with me and said 'Achtung' and 'Gesundheit' as she blessed me (Achtung doesn't just mean 'attention' it also means 'respect').

It's another of those beautiful mild sunny days and it feels like we've been living here for a long time. A lot of the world's spiritual energy seems concentrated in this spot - I especially love hearing the call to prayer of the muezzin from the mosque which often coincides with the end of my meditation and reminds me that I'm a Sufi as well as a Buddhist...

Abandon dirt, abandon stain

I forgot my mala at the hotel today. Maybe it was because I had the strap of my meditation cushion in my hand.

So I bought a new one. It was completely encrusted with dirt. So I pulled out a wet wipe and began to clean it. It was really dirty. Filthy. Hard to clean.

Maybe that dirt wasn't the dirt of India, maybe it was the dirt of attatchment and aversion. Maybe it was not their dirt, maybe it was my dirt. Maybe it was the dirt of my delusions.

Whooooahhhhh!

Here we goooooooooooo...........

What is the mantra for rejoicing?

"What is the mantra for rejoicing?" says Trilbu.

No one knows, but her rejoicing was certainly heard by all.

From Bodhgaya

Hello to everyone from Rinpoche:

I hold you all dear in my heart while we here pilgrimage. Everyone are doing well and caring for each other. I many time in India so not so surprised but delight to read the postings and delight to hear pilgrims experiences. This give nice view of India for me. Blessings to all of you from the Pure Land of Bodhgaya.

Personality and suffering

Chonyi here, typing the dictated message from Rinpoche (see below).

Much thinking on my side about teaching nature of personality and how dynamics interact to produce either enlightened or unenlightened process.
Important point not registered on this log regard teaching from New Delhi before embark to Varanasi is this: evolution and suffering of personality is the hallmark of all unenlighten persons. Dynamic is seeking self satisfaction from recognizing onself. This become addictive and power seeking - alive in almost all person is greater and bigger stimulation of this very need to recognize onself. Like drinking salt water, only make more thirsty. In this way suffering never ends. Personality should be used only very lightly. And in the enlightened being this defective dynamic of addiction to self stimulization is gone. Practitioner goes through many different levels of healing. Inside you is your real personality that is genuine. It light and airy like a meringue and does not require leaning on personality in order to be real. This personality not look at itself and is in the nature of peace.

The tasks of a pilgrim

I admit that I have found it difficult to be always on the move and also be interior in meditation. Many others seem to have this capability, but I struggle. The first week or so we moved from place to place. Changchub(once she arrived) and I have been caring for the group members physical needs. I am doing a lions' share of the preventative work with such things as essential oils to fight colds and sinus problems (eucalyptus & pine), mosquito spray (an essential oil blend that includes citronella- this has become quite popular and when folks spot a mosquito the spray comes out and makes the rounds), and the prevention of the Indian version of "Montezuma's revenge". My preventative is palmarosa oil. I put 1 drop in each person's bottle of water. It doesn't taste great, but it is tolerable. One sangha member used it for 2-3 days and then didn't use it for one day. Then out came the pepto bismol and ginger to treat the nausea and diarrhea. So you'd think we'd all know to be careful. The bus ride to Bodgaya was 6-8 hours long and we stopped once for a bathroom break. Knowing this, I didn't drink much so I wouldn't be suffering in the bus needing a bathroom. It worked. However, when I was assigned to my room in Bodgaya, it had a bathroom without a toilet (almost everyone else had a toilet). Instead there is this porcelain hole in the ground and you are supposed to squat over it to go. Maybe 10 years ago that would have been okay). Two floors below me was a women's restroom off the main lobby with a toilet, so I made the trip down 2 floors every time I needed to use it. So, I just kept up not drinking much. You can see the story develop, can't you? Once I stop drinking, I am also not getting my palmarosa. Yup, for 1 day, I was the one being treated for nausea and vomiting. I AM TIRED OF THE TASTE OF PALMAROSA, but it's better than the alternative. Even Rinpoche sends her bottle of water to get a drop. I even hear rumors that she doesn't mind the taste. I brought enough palmarosa to treat water for the entire group for the length of pilgrimage. Once prevention has not worked, Changchub comes in with her treatments.

So moving around, being sick and then recovering and other distractions have made it a challenge for me to be meditative. Ngawang Pema has been most helpful. I requested suggestions from her on how to correct this situation and she keeps a gentle eye on me offering suggestions every now and then - walk slower, soften your gaze, look at Inner Guru, don't lean forward when taking care of the health issues - whatever is appropriate to the moment.

Here in Bodgaya, I finally got the material I need for my summer robes (20 meters of dark maroon fabric). Trying to find a tailor to get the sewing accomplished was another thing. For some reason, I ran into obstacle after obstacle. I began to suffer from that unique form of self-cherishing identifiable as "poor me". It began to get stronger and very frustrating. Yesterday many of us changed rooms as other guests checked out. I now have a bathroom with a toilet (sheer luxury!) and my room is directly below Rinpoche's. Then it occurred to me, "Sangmo, do tonglen." Of course! Duh! In about 2 minutes with a good dose of tonglen, self-cherishing reduces dramatically. Why had it taken me so long to apply the remedy?

Meditation was good! And this morning, I went to a tailor who took my order, measurements and specifications in short order. It was so easy. Hmmm, so there's an energetic shift for me. Now to the tasks of pilgrimage.

may there be a rain of dharma

Dawn at the Bodhi tree

I did something this morning that I had been wanting to do for the past several days while here in Bodhgaya. I left the hotel a little after 5am, dressed in 3 layers with bug spray on, meditation cushion, water and tissues in hand, I was prepared for a dawn meditation. The streets of Bodhgaya were almost deserted, except for several locals with their rickshaws and a number of the stray dogs that are everywhere here. The air was crisp and cool and it was close to quiet. I set out walking toward the temple and as I got closer more and more people appeared...the temple never seems to be closed...even at this early hour, lights were on, chanting of many voices, and the sounds of ritual bells rang through the air. Many monks, nuns, Indians, Tibetans and westerners were meditating, doing Kora and prostrating around the temple. Incense hung heavy in the air. The best time of day to be at the temple as a pilgrim. I did many rounds of Kora and then took a seat on the cool, smooth stone floor in front of the Bodhi tree to begin practice. As the time passed, the sky melted from that deep indigo blue to a beautiful lavender, to pink and finally to a light turqoise blue. As I gazed up at the Bodhi tree in front of me it struck me that perhaps this is the first thing the Buddha saw after attaining enlightenment.

Blessings to all,
Menma

Prayers for a friend

I have never told you that I pray for you quite often. Like a vivid dream, and rich song, and deep laughter. I pray for you to remember your practice. When the world turns grey it is not because you are tired, it is because you have forgotten what it means to be truly alive. The vibrancy and limitless potential that you secretly suspect exists is really there. Except that you have forgotten how to be tireless. But you believe in it, you remember compassion's boundless potential.

Now remember limitless great compassion. Remember your practice.

I have been afraid to say this to you because I do not know if you are ready to hear it. I know that there may be only one chance to say this to you. I do not want to mess it up because I hear your inner call to help all beings and it is truly magnificent. It bubbles up all fizzy in my heart when we talk. It makes me smile and laugh. It gives me that soft edge in my voice that is my deeper acknowledgement of that inner greatness.

The deep transformative path is not reserved for people like me. It is for people like you -- people who can not tolerate the suffering out there. It is to help you be tireless and vast, to hold space for all beings.

May all beings be free, and may you be the one to help them. There is no greater joy than this.