Pictures

Pictures: Domo Geshe Rinpoche left) and monk (right) at Mahakala cave monastery discussing his root guru (who was a friend of Rinpoche's). pictures by Deki

I went back through my posts, corrected the spelling and grammatical errors (I hope I got them all), and uploaded some pictures to most of them, so you can see Varanasi and the Mahabodhi temple. I encourage others to do the same, so many can share in the visual as well as the words we wrote.

love to all pilgrims, those who went in body and those who went in mind only

may there be a rain of dharma

Happy Birthday, Rinpoche

We rejoice that you came to us. We cannot thank you enough for your careful guidance!!! May you have a long, healthy life and remain many, many, many years to benefit sentient beings.

Happy Tibetan Birthday

Someone else's zen

Hmmm, here I have been back in the US for 3 days and am only now unpacking. I probably wouldn't even be tackling it now, except that I need a suitcase. I leave tomorrow for Beaver Dam to teach aromatherapy this weekend. I will certainly have examples to share about using the oils on myself and fellow pilgrims in India.

So it is that I just discovered someone else's zen in my suitcase. How it got there is a bit of a mystery to me, but I have the maroon and white zen of some ngakmo in my suitcase - and it is not mine. If you are missing a maroon and white zen that you had made at the tailor's in Delhi (not the one in Bodhgaya), I have it - along with some extra white material that was used in making the zen. It looks to be winter-weight material. The maroon is the darker maroon (closer to the monastic color than the ngakphang color). So, if this is yours, let me know and we'll reunite you with your zen.

Looking back, take 3b (stranded in India; reflections on teachings, expectations and the tasks of a pilgrim.)

Domo Geshe Rinpoche and students in discussion on the grounds of Nalanda University

Well, now back to the very long day.....

After leaving Rajgir, we drove a while longer (it all becomes a blur after a while.) I began to tell that my tailbone was getting a bit sore - hmmm, if I was going to avoid a pressure ulcer, I was going to have to take precautions. The roads are uniformly bumpy, so comfort was a relative term. Some fellow travelers suffered from motion sickness and I was glad I brought along ginger Altoids for them.

We arrived at the ruins of Nalanda University. Nalanda is of great significance to Tibetan Buddhism. The great Buddhist philosophers and meditators who were the teachers and disseminators of the Vajrayana Buddhism that went to Tibet came primarily from Nalanda. The names of its scholars and practitioners reads like a "who's who" of Buddhist philosophy and practice. Nalanda was comprised of a collection of 'monasteries', perhaps like our modern universities are collections of 'colleges.' The student-teacher ratio was something like 2.5 to 1. Nalanda was a major center of Buddhist thought and learning for centuries and continued to be an active university until the Turkish Muslims invaded and, in their own version of the crusades, wiped out Indian Buddhism. If Indian Vajrayana Buddhism had not been disseminated to Tibet and neighboring Himalayan countries (such as Bhutan, Nepal and Mongolia), it would probably have been lost to the world. So being at Nalanda and walking the "hallowed halls"(or at least the hallowed courtyards) of meditation and learning was a real treat for us. We saw the individual cubicles of the monk scholars, and an altar nook was built into each room. These scholars did not just think and think; they meditated and meditated. They delved into the nature of reality. Yet, when all was said and done, it was the actual practice (the inner practice) that was the true dharma. Sometimes the strongest practitioners were scholars - and sometimes they weren't.

Rinpoche, being a scholar as well as a yogi, was in her element. She took us over onto the grass under a tree and we sat down and had a discussion, where we students asked questions and we discussed them, much as we imagined might have occurred centuries ago among the real students and teachers at Nalanda.

The grounds of Nalanda was the only place in India I saw that was truly free of litter. They were beautiful, flowers were planted, and there was still careful excavation going on. When we left, we were tired. We had been up a long time and had walked a LOT, climbing up to Massed Vultures Peak and riding for hours in the bus. We were ready for lunch and then a nap in the bus on the way to the airport at Patna and a plane to Delhi. Many of us did nap and we arrived at Patna as dark was nearing. We discoverd that fog in Delhi had caused our flight to be cancelled. It was Saturday and there were no more flights to Delhi from Patna until Monday. However, those of us going home were supposed to leave for the US on Sunday night. We were hours from any other airport. It took Jugney & John and the travel agent and the bus driver several hours to come up with an alternative plan. And we sat on the bus, or played our Chod drums, or walked around the parking lot as one plan after another was discussed and scrapped. As Trilbu finally said, if she was going to be stranded in India with anyone, she would rather be stranded with us. We ate more junk food during that time on the bus than we had eaten during the entire rest of our trip. I began to wonder if we would even have time to go to the tailor in Delhi and pick up our orders before leaving - if we even made it back to Delhi in time to catch our flight at all. I agreed with Trilbu; if I was going to be stranded in India, I would rather be stranded with Rinpoche and my dharma brothers & sisters than anyone.

Finally we had a plan. The closest ariport was in Varanasi, 7-8 hours drive away. If we left now, we would pass through an unprotected area during the night, which the bus driver said was not safe. So we went to a hotel, and 3-to-a-room, we slept until almost 2 am. We left all our luggage in the luggage compartment of the bus and slept in the clothes on our backs. At 2 am we boarded the bus for the 8 hour drive to Varanasi (Sarnath actually). Arriving close to 10 am on the morning of the day we were scheduled to fly home, we had a breakfast buffet and rested for a couple of hours. The travel agent was working on getting enough seats on flights back to Delhi for at least those who would be leaving the country that night. The plan was a moving target - as one flight after another changed, and the hours that we were originally going to spend doing our last day's shopping slipped away. In the end most of us took a flight that left Varanasi at 3 something pm, and we didn't actually get back to the Potala guest house until 7-7:30 pm. This left us less than 2 hours to get our orders from the tailor, make last minute purchases (which I knew I would not be able to do, so I let go of my wish to go back to the thangka shop I had found several weeks before and obtain a thangka of the 21 Taras.) My order at the tailor was not correct (this was my winter monastic robes), and there was no time to have it corrected. I was able to retrieve the remaining material and leave it with N. Pema. We hope she has time to get the correct items made for me during the week she remains in India, but she will be traveling and that may or may not occur. Final packing was completed just in time. With all of this unwanted excitement of the last day and a half, and in spite of the uncertainty and disappointment that accompanied each change in plans, everyone seemed to take it in stride. After all, this was only what one could expect from samsara. It was a bit disappointing, but it was not that big a deal. With bags in the lobby, those of us who were to leave went to Rinpoche's room for her end-of-the-pilgrimage instructions and a final blessing. In the lobby, Pema and Jugney gave us each a kata and reminded us that the purpose of pilgrimage is to remove obstacles. May they be gone!

The bus was loaded and we were off to the airport for our 24 hour plus trip home. Since we were heading west, Jan 15th lasted 36 hours for us. Difficulties were few and we arrived home safe and sound. However, as several have pointed out, we are not the same people we were when we left. I do not feel the same. Here is where I will try to pull together the themes of the pilgrimage for me: Who am I willing to become? and the tasks of a pilgrim.

I've never been a pilgrim before - at least not in this life, and so I really had little idea what to expect. I expected almost daily teachings like we get at retreats. We actually got very few outer teachings. What we got were initiations, empowerments, impromptu teachings and unbelievable inner teachings - if we were open to receive them. I cannot say I realized at the time where the questions of pilgrimage I posted way back in November came from. They seemed to write themselves and they sounded good. Looking back, it makes much more sense. At one point, Rinpoche had said that the purpose of pilgrimage is to remove obstacles, but I gave that little real thought. Looking back, it makes perfect sense. Rinpoche's first real teaching of the pilgrimage was about personality and healing personality. Looking back it makes perfect sense. At one point I wrote about dealing with self-cherishing, and finally realizing that I needed to apply the antidote (tonglen), after which I could move on to the tasks of a pilgrim. What I didn't realize at the time was - that was the task of a pilgrim. This pilgrimage was not about sitting at the outer feet of our teacher and learning more stuff. It was not about going to whiz bang nifty spiritual sites and saying, "Wow, what great energy!." It was not about fancy meditations and the direct experience of suchness (although I am sure that would be welcome if it happened.) This pilgrimage was about removing obstacles. It was about reducing self-cherishing and getting rid of (or significantly reducing) the dense habitual patterns that hold us in suffering - those aspects of our personalities that cause ourselves and those around us unhappiness. It was not about learning, but about becoming. Rinpoche once told me that enlightenment is not something you do; it is something you are. You don't learn enlightenment; You become enlightened. This trip was not about getting all the magnificent teachings we are accustomed to, but it was about changing enough so that when things did not go well (like on our very long day), we didn't go into suffering. When our buttons got pushed, did we wallow, or did we just disconnect the button?

Some days I wallowed. One morning, walking towards the temple, Pema asked how I was. (That morning I was near wallowing.) I told Pema and Trilbu that I was dealing with obscurations (actually the ones that most frequently cause me unhappiness.) Pema just said, "Hold them lightly and laugh at them....oh, you already are." Finally, they disappeared like a morning fog is burned off by the sun. My discovery is that the task of a pilgrim is to answer the question, "What am I willing to let go of? Who am I willing to become?"

I still hope that Pema has the chance to get the rest of my monastic robes made, but if it doesn't work out...... well...we'll just have to go at it a different way.

may there be a rain of dharma

Looking back, take 3a (Rajgir, the first third of the very long day)

Picture: Domo Geshe Rinpoche on Massed Vultures Peak demonstrating the enlightened state: some others had better shots, so feel free to put up a better one.

In India, we were expected to behave in a way that is considered respectful by the culture, especially the Buddhist culture. Since we were clearly identifiable as Buddhist (even with Western faces), and there are many Buddhists around, we were to act the part. This meant that in public, we moved in a very traditional way. All the ordained wore robes every day. Rinpoche was (almost) always in the lead. The only exception to this was the times when there were beggars or sellers trying to access her from in front, and then 1-2 sangha members would walk in front of her to the right and left to run interference. Following immediately behind her were her 2 attendants side-by-side. It took a few days for our group to learn that you never step between Rinpoche and her attendants. The attendants during the pilgrimage rotated, so it was up to us to track who was attending on any given day. Immediately behind the attendants are the monastics (and monastic candidates), followed by the ngakphang (and ngakphang candidates), and then the lay practitioners. All dressed in modest, respectful clothing. All the women with long hair wore it up in the top knot of a yogic practitioner, and most wore long skirts. This respect discipline was also maintained at meals. Rinpoche, of course, always goes first. But in India, even lining up to eat was done in this order. If an ordained person walked in, they were shuttled to the front of the line, monastics before ngakphang. As a group, we learned this discipline fairly well and members reminded each other when necessary to help us maintain the discipline. Rinpoche commented that she appreciated the respect we showed by maintaining this order. It was clear to the locals from our discipline, that we are practitioners, and we were shown a lot of respect by them.

Early on the morning of Jan 13th we left Bodhgaya by bus for a very long day. As alluded to by others, it was longer than we bargained for. All our bags were in the luggage compartment - where it turned out they would stay for a day and a half. Mostly with us in the passenger section, we brought our chod drums and the jolas (monks & nuns bags) that we carried everything around in (our rare and precious toilet paper, wet wipes, rupees, etc). On the bus, Rinpoche launched into an impromptu teaching in response to questions (presumably by one or both of her attendants who were sitting hearby). Fortunately, Jugney brought a hand-held recording device rather than the marantz, and it was whipped out, so at least part of the teaching is recorded. Menma has posted some very nice notes covering some of the main points.

What follows is my recollection of part of the teaching that Rinpoche gave us on the bus on the way to Rajgir. If there are errors in memory or interpretation, they are mine. At the time Lord Buddha Shakyamuni attained full enlightenment, he apparently thought it (the method he used) could not be taught to others. When Lord Buddha went to Sarnath, located his 5 mendicant companions and sat on the grass, god-realm beings (not enlightened, but very long-lived and powerful from a human perspective) handed him a 1000-spoked golden wheel and strongly requested that he teach (hence we get the expression,"turning the wheel of dharma" The dharma is the teachings, and to turn the wheel is to teach the path to enlightenment). Having been requested, he taught from his own experience, thinking perhaps it would benefit others to replicate what he had done. This is the beginning of Theravada Buddhism.

note: Even today, Buddhist teachers and lamas tend to only teach if they have been requested. So, as their students, we request frequently, and our specific topics of interest have great influence on what teachings we receive. Many of Rinpoche's students in the Milwaukee area are in the healing professions, so we get a lot of teachings on healing, because we request them all the time.

Once Lord Buddha began teaching, many people would come to him with their problems. As the Buddha gave advice, and saw the positive results, the "remedies" developed. Eventually, he realized that the path could be taught. As this process continued and increased, the seeds of Mahayana Buddhism were planted and nurtured. Lord Buddha himself became a remedy.

Several hours later, we arrived at Rajgir (Massed Vultures Peak). The peak gets its name from a rock formation that, from one angle, looks like a mass of vultures roosting together. It was a favorite place for Lord Buddha Shakyamuni and many of his followers to stay, meditate and have teachings. It is here that the Heart Sutra, one of the most precious teachings of Mahayana Buddhism, was given. The teaching is so important, that it is considered the second turning of the wheel of dharma, and is essentially the birth of Mahayana Buddhism. N. Pema posted a wonderful translation of the Heart Sutra, so I refer you to that posting. If you have no significant exposure to Buddhist thought, I don't guarantee you will understand it. You might want to get a commentary or two for that purpose. (Heck, even if you do have significant exposure to Buddhist thought, you will probably struggle with the teaching.)

On a neighboring peak, across from Massed Vultures Peak, is a beautiful temple built by Japanese Buddhists. The Zen Buddhists from Japan are of the Mahayana tradition, by the way (as are Tibetan Buddhists.) Rajgir is rich in history and important to Buddhists, Jains and Hindus. More information on Rajgir can be had here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rajgir

We arrived, and it was only a short wait until the aerial ropeway would open and take us up to the peak of the Japanese temple. The ropeway seats are similar to those of a ski lift, but only hold one person each. They do have a restraining bar across each seat for safety. For those who had not been on a ski lift before - or were afraid of heights - it would be a bit of a challenge - and each person had to ride alone. We were lined up for the tram in our tradition formation. This afforded me a good position from which to be near Rinpoche as she took her first lift ride. She was delighted by the experience and it delighted us to observe her. One attendant and Jugney were sent before Rinpoche in case they needed to assist her to get off the tram. Pema followed her and I followed Pema. The ride over the hills was wonderful! Quiet! Scenic! And it was the most trash-free area I had seen in India thus far. Pema had her camera hanging out the back of her tram so I suspect she has a picture of me riding in my little one-seater, but I didn't get around to asking her if that was what she was doing.

The Japanese Temple and stupa at the top is absolutely beautiful. To the side of the stupa, from the temple, is the constant and rhythmic sound of a deep drum. We circumnambulated the temple, which is white. On each of the four sides is a large, gold image of one of the major events of the life of Lord Buddha. They include his birth, enlightenment, teaching and death. Many pictures were taken and I hope some are posted here. After circumnambulating the stupa, we entered the Japanese temple and joined Rinpoche in bowing before the images of Buddha to the rhythm of the drum, which is traditional in the Japanese Buddhist tradition. The drum beater was so pleased by our respect that he offered holy pills to Rinpoche (Changchub actually received them on behalf of Rinpoche).

Then we took a path over to Massed Vultures Peak. First you go down from one peak to meet the path that goes up the other peak. The 'path' was paved - if you consider loose stones with steps at uneven intervals and pitched rather than flat to be a paved path. It was treacherous and difficult. We had to watch each step. Apparently the rainy season really wreaks havoc on the path and it does not seem to be maintained. Rinpoche commented that one advantage of pilgrimage was that it forced you to stay grounded. You must watch where you step, and so you cannot afford to become a space cadet - all airy fairy. Once we met the path up, we found it easier going. True enough, we were now climbing and working hard at it, but the paving was smooth. The steps were still a bit uneven, but it was in much better shape. Below Vultures Peak are a couple of caves. They are believed to be sites where Lord Buddha Shakyamuni spent a great deal of time in meditation. There is a altar in each cave and pilgrims stop and do prayers and prostrations there.

At one of the caves, Rinpoche stopped to rest, and Changchub told a small group of Tibetans that this is Domo Geshe Rinpoche. The title "Rinpoche" seems to have a strong effect on Tibetans. They approached one by one, bowing their heads down in the traditional request for a blessing. Again, I was close enough to observe the interaction. As each would bend down, Rinpoche would touch him or her on the top of the head at the crown with the knuckle of a bent finger and in that time she appeared to be checking that one out energetically, and then providing some energetic assistance depending on what she found. In response to one older woman, Rinpoche was very pleased and said to her several times "Om Mani Pema Hum". The woman was delighted at Rinpoche's response and responded back. My interpretation was that Rinpoche determined that the woman had said many 'manis' in her life with great devotion which had had a greatly beneficial effect on her spiritual development, and Rinpoche was giving her very positive and supportive acknowledgement of her great efforts. With a younger woman, Rinpoche said something like, "oh, no" and she did some work on that one. Again, I did not ask what, but only observed. When a high level lama gives a 'blessing', it is more than just a rote prayer. The recipient actually gets an energetic/spiritual check up, and some help - depending on what is indicated. It is sort of like the "nursing process." We do an assessment, and then we plan interventions based on that assessment. Rinpoche does an assessment, and then plans her interventions based on her assessment. Maybe we can call it the "guru process?"

We continued to the top of Massed Vultures Peak where there is a shrine, and a view out over the valley that is awe-inspiring - even if much of the valley below is shrouded in smog. Many people were gathered there, and we went to an area over to the side, and together we read aloud the prajnaparamita. (Again, I refer you to N. Pema's posting of the Heart sutra.) After most of the others had left, we circumnambulated the shrine. Rinpoche did a precious demonstration of the buddhas free from suffering. Several people took a picture of it and I hope one of them posts it here. I think we all want copies!

The walk down from Vultures Peak was much easier than the walk up. After reaching our bus, we headed out for another hour or so's drive to the ruins of Nalanda University.

The very long Day....to be continued......

may there be a rain of dharma

Looking back, take 2 (farewell to Bodhgaya - for the present, and Chod drums)

picture: night shot of the Mahabodhi temple from the north side: where I did my last meditation before leaving the temple grounds.


It is almost 7 am on Tuesday morning and I slept well. I am thinking that the time adjustment may occur more easily than expected. however, I will share with you something I saw on the bus. As we sat on the bus from the airport in Delhi back to Potala guest house to do our last-hour shopping and pack to leave, Rinpoche had told us she heard there was a significant cold-snap in the mid-west to which we would be returning - one that had caused many deaths - and to dress warmly. It was not until I got to Amsterdam and checked the internet that I learned there had been a severe ice storm cross the midsection of the country causing many deaths, and that it was moving into the northeast. However, it had been south of us, and so Wisconsin was basically spared. Our weather was seasonable for January - cold, but no ice storm. However, at the time this was all that we knew and we hoped that our return journey would not hold the challenges of the previous 24 hours. Rinpoche was sitting alone in the front seat of the bus, and I was across the aisle from her, so I witnessed her do something quietly that I believe no one else saw. Right after this conversation, she made gestures with her hands as though she was calming down and smoothing out something. My thoughts were that she was blessing our return home so that it would go smoothly and the storms would abate. I never actually asked her what she was doing - or even acknowledged that I saw her do anything. I wanted to respect her privacy. Now however, she will obviously find out that I observed her.

Anyway, back to the last hours in Bodhgaya....

After we returned from Mahakala cave, my first concern was to make it to the tailor and get the items he was working on for me. I had returned parts of my summer robes a few days before that he had incorrectly made, and wanted to check them out to make sure there would be a few hours left if he needed to make even more alterations. Group by group, many of us showed up at the tailor to pick up our orders. We almost don't need to speak any more. He knows who we are and what we came for. He saw me, wordlessly invited me to sit, brought me a small glass of milk tea, and ironed my items. I paid him for the shentaup with patches (everything else was an alteration of something he had made previously that was already paid for).

After tenzhuk, followed by our strong meditations for Rinpoche's long life and health, I, like many others, went back to Mahabodhi temple for one last chance to meditate and do kora. One sect of Tibetan monks were chanting, joined by lay people of that tradition. I enjoyed kora for the last time (this visit anyway), prayed at the bodhi tree and then sat at the spot of Green Tara on the north side of the temple and meditated. As I meditated, the group of monks came and did kora several times around the temple, chanting as they went. I heard them pass as I meditated. Eventually, I got up from meditation. I will miss this holy place. There is an energy like no other. It is more than the site of Lord Buddha's enlightenment - 25 centuries of the prayers and devotions of pilgrims who come here has left an indelible mark. I joined my prayers and devotions to those of millions, perhaps billions, of others. However, there was still much to do before sleep and so I reluctantly left the temple. I decided to swing by the stand where we were expecting a shipment of chod drums. I was very disappointed to discover that the stand was closed. No more chod drums, I thought. I then did something I almost never did. I took a bicycle rickshaw back to the hotel. I always walked. But this last night, in the dark, after a long day, I rode back.

Background information: Some days before, Rinpoche sent word through N. Pema that she was giving us permission to obtain chod drums. Some time this coming year, she would introduce us to chod practice. (It was only a few hours later that we discovered that a group of approx 200 nuns had arrived in town to perform a group chod at the temple. Needless to say, we all went to observe. But I commented on this in a previous posting.) Then Rinpoche and her attendants went through the market looking for a seller of chod drums so we would know where to obtain good quality drums. a vendor was found, and the 6 drums he had were soon sold out to members of our group. He knew we needed about 16 more and he ordered them in from Dharamsala. He expected the order by bus on the evening of the 12th.

This was the 12th. We would leave Bodhgaya by bus at 6 am on the 13th.

I returned to the hotel to complete packing and was laying down resting when the word came that the vendor was downstairs in the lobby with his shipment of chod drums. Earlier in the day, N. Pema had asked him to bring his drums to our hotel when they arrived and we would purchase them then. I was fortunate to be among the first down there and chose a drum that was ani-sized. Not too big - but with a good sound. There is extensive use of the drum during chod and if you get one that is too large and heavy for you, you may find it very painful for your arm & wrist. By twos and threes our group straggled back to the hotel from their last outings in Bodhgaya and joined in choosing their drum. In the end, almost each of us had one. The vendor did very well that day - but so did we.

For the students who were not with us, please do not ask to try out our chod drums. Rinpoche instructed that our own drum was like our mala. Once we have started to use it, others are not to touch it. We are not to show it off or play it carelessly. It is a sacred instrument. We can practice and learn to use it properly. In fact, Rinpoche said that those who did not practice and could not play the drum properly, would not be allowed to learn chod, so we'd better practice. Carrying the chod drums around for the next 48 hours became an interesting feature of our very long bus ride! At times, we brought them out and practiced.

We did meditation practice and went to bed, packed and ready for an early and long day. The plan for the following day would be long. Arise early; have bags in the lobby by 5:15 am, breakfast buffet at 5:30 am and board the bus at 6 am. Drive several hours to Rajgir (Massed Vultures Peak), spend several hours and have a teaching; back on the bus for a few more hours and arrive at the ruins of Nalanda university. Spend a couple of hours and have another teaching. The back on the bus for another few hours ride to Patna for a plane flight to Delhi. Arrive at Potala guest house by 10:30 pm and spend the night. We would have the next day (the 14th) to pick up our things from the tailors there and do our last bits of shopping before the first group left at 9:30 pm by bus for the airport and the trip home. A tight schedule, but doable. Well....it didn't go exactly that way. The best laid plans.....are subject to the vagarities of the Delhi weather patterns. Unlike America, few aircraft in India can land on instruments. When the Delhi airport gets socked with fog, air travel around the country stops.....

may there be a rain of dharma

Looking back, take 1 (Mahakala Cave & tenzhuk)

Pictures: Mahakala cave entrance; N. Jugney & Pema Dorje @ Mahakala cave monastery (notice the monkey on the roof behind them); Charnel grounds

Our last few days in India were so full and fast that we did not have time to get to an internet cafe, so here in the Amsterdam airport, where we have an almost 5-hour layover, I will reflect back on those days.

On our last full day in Bodhgaya, we actually spent the morning on a "field trip" to Mahakala cave. It was here that Lord Buddha Shakyamuni reputedly spent 6 years meditating before he went to Bodhgaya and attained full enlightenment, so he was still Prince Siddhartha at the time. Here too, a famous meditator (I am unsure who as I sit here in the airport) meditated and saw Mahakala in the interior come to him. The cave is small and sits high on a cliff side. There is a small Tibetan monastery at the site that maintains it. The bus drove us to the foot of the cliff side and we took the steep path upwards - needing to stop and rest several times. At the foot of the path is another site important to tantric Buddhism - although it is not marked. One of the 8-great cemeteries was located here. This place was charnel grounds, where the bodies of the dead were left unburied to decay. It was where high level meditators (highest yoga tantra) went to meditate on impermanence and to develop fearlessness. Rinpoche had explained a bit of this process to me privately. What follows is a compilation of the private conversation and notes from her teaching at Mahakala cave.:

The very fast path to enlightenment is that of highest yoga tantra. Being very
quick, it is a bit like being in a high- energy pressure cooker. Under high
pressure, even the smallest defect will show clearly. In order to clear obscurations and return to purity, one must be fearless of this, enduring it in order to clarify quickly. When the yidam manifest in this form, they are not shown as peaceful (i.e., lovely features, smiling and dressed in jewels, etc); they are shown in wrathful form (fearsome appearance, typically holding what appear to be weapons and bones). It is indicative of their high energy, and fearlessness. The weapons are implements to cut the ego-centrism and all those obscurations that keep us bound fast to samsara and suffering. When Chenrezig (aka Avilokiteshvara and also Quan Yin), the Buddha of Compassion, appears in wrathful form, he is Mahakala - a fearsome sight. But the
wrathful form has as much compassion as the peaceful form. It is in our perception of the form that we have obscurations. How fearless are you in facing up to your impurities? Too much of our energy has been stolen from our actual being and come outside where it has become very dense - like molasses. This is the hardest energy to train. We need a process from which the denseness/confusion is removed. Much of our suffering is located in this denseness. During meditation (especially on the removal of obstacles) the wrathful buddha comes in order to remove obstacles.) Don't play with these practices (i.e., protector practices). It is wrong to spread the protector practices around the world. This is not Tibet under persecution. People may use these to seek power. It will not be beneficial to you to say, "Oh, now I am so
powerful." When we need it, the protector will come to us to remove this denseness & confusion.

Rinpoche said we had the fortunate karma to be able to stand on the outer site of one of the 8-great cemeteries of highest yoga tantra - and to always remember this.

Rinpoche soon sent Chonyi and John ahead of us with offerings of tea and other items, as well as rupees, to the monastery. When we arrived, the monk who is caretaker there met us. Rinpoche introduced herself and asked for tea for the group. As we waited for tea, we sat and Rinpoche gave a teaching. A western woman with dark hair came to Rinpoche and began to ask her questions. I did not follow the entire conversation, but at one point, Rinpoche asked the woman where she had seen her before. Had she come to see Rinpoche in NY? in Kalimpong? Did she recall? The woman reported nothing that I heard. If she knew, she was not saying. Rinpoche then said that it must have been somewhere, because the woman still carried Rinpoche's blessing on the inside and that she should do practice more diligently.

When tea came, it was Tibetan butter tea. I've had butter tea several times, and I must admit I was less than enthused. However, this butter tea was actually good. So for any butter tea aficionados out there, the butter tea at Mahakala cave is outstanding.

After tea, we went into the cave and offered katas. Then everyone squeezed in and as a group we read the Mahakala prayer 3 times; we circumnambulated the small stupa at the monastery and went back to sit again. The monk who had first met us came and sat and talked with Rinpoche. He had attended Drepung monastery, but had left before obtaining his geshe degree. Rinpoche joked with him about being a half-geshe - using the inside terminology that apparently those who have been through the Geluk monastery system know. He and Rinpoche laughed quite a bit over that. Rinpoche asked who his teacher was - his root guru. He told Rinpoche the name of the Rinpoche who was his root guru, and it was someone that our Rinpoche knew as a friend. Rinpoche seemed to light up on the inside at hearing the name. Rinpoche held her hand to her heart as she reported that he had been a dear friend. She then "checked" the monk more closely (typically Rinpoche does not check those who are not her students so closely. I think this is partly to respect their privacy and partly to conserve her own energy). Rinpoche told him that the blessing of his guru was still alive in him, and that his guru loved him (as was apparent to her when she saw the blessing alive in his interior). He became so enthused that he went and brought a kata that had been blessed by his root guru to show Rinpoche. Then Rinpoche pressed her palms together and requested on behalf of his root guru (who has passed away) that he honor and hold his monastic vows strongly. She asked him to share one special teaching that he recalls from his root guru; he mentioned something about meditation. The monk told Rinpoche that when she arrived at the monastery, he felt the same energy from her that he had felt with his root guru. It was a wonderful moment to witness. Deki took pictures of the monk, and perhaps she even has a video of the interaction. I am not sure. Her camera can do both. I posted pictures from this encounter on a subsequent posting.

Soon it was time to descend the hill. It was like running the gauntlet. Beggars lined the descent all asking for money. We had brought many small rupees, but most of us ran out before reaching the bottom of the hill. I noticed that as we descended, the children from higher up ran swiftly by a back path down the hill to line up again below and get more money. Changchub saw one infant with kwasiorkor, but mostly the beggars were well-fed. They have a steady supply of donations from the busloads of pilgrims who arrive to Mahakala cave every day.

As we left, Rinpoche commented on the children, who ran swiftly along the hills and seemed to appear and disappear like the wind. She said that those born near charnel grounds tend to return to the same types of places again and again - having an intense neediness, they return to similar circumstances. For some of them, Rinpoche had prayed that they do not return to this place again in future lives, but have lives of greater opportunity where they can make something of themselves. It reminded me that opportunity is in the mind, and if you do not think there is opportunity available to you - it won't manifest. What a blessing to have that karma changed for you by the buddhas and their sons & daughters - who reach out in great compassion to sentient beings.

When we returned, we had only a few hours to complete preparations for tenzhuk - which was done with great affection and reverence. After the ceremony, most of us stayed for some time in strong practice requesting health and long life for our precious teacher.

We invite all of Rinpoche's students to join us in strong prayers for her long life. May she remain long to benefit sentient beings. May the entire lineage support this work! and may there be a rain of dharma.

Tibetan Medicine and requests to the 21 Taras

We have been in Bodhgaya for some time now. Our time here is winding down. I will miss the mahabodhi temple and doing kora around the temple and bodhi tree.

Last evening a group of approx 200 Tibetan nuns performed Chod on the temple grounds. It was wonderful to be present as they all chanted together. Most of our group attended. Rinpoche came to observe part of it and then she did kora, blessed at least one pilgrim (one of this group) that I observed as they were meditating at the temple. I stayed longer and as I left at about 8 pm, was a little surprised to find her still in the environs. Just outside the temple is a Tibetan Medical clinic. A Tibetan doctor will consult with you, read your pulse and if indicated prescribe Tibetan medicine and let you know which foods to avoid (for the time being anyway). Rinpoche had had her pulse read and as we approached, she would say which of us she thought would benefit by consulting the Tibetan doctor. Many of our group have been fighting off a cold or other respiratory condition, and so many are now on a 1-2 week regimen of Tibetan treatments for upper respiratory conditions. I had my "appointment" and am on a 4-month regimen for the knee pain that makes it difficult to get up from sitting on the ground. It's not just middle age - it's treatable. And so I will experience Tibetan medicine as a patient for the first time. I am looking forward to this first-hand exposure to Tibetan medicine. It will expand my understanding of complementary medicine and medical systems around the world.

Yesterday we received the permission initiation for the 21 Tara practice. It is a group practice that is commonly used among Tibetan Buddhists when special requests are being made. Our first purpose for doing the practice as a group is to add the strength of our practice energy to our prayers for world peace. Today we met at the temple grounds, and in the same place where Chod as performed last night, we chanted prayers for world peace, followed by the homage to 21 Taras. As Rinpoche led us, she told us that we are doing this with a mind of service. To pray for world peace from this holy site, empowered by our energy as practitioners is beneficial.

may peace prevail on earth
and may there be a rain of dharma

Diamond Throne

In the outer world, I suppose the most holy place in Buddhism is the Diamond Throne. Lord Buddha Shakyamuni sat to the east of the Bodhi tree (actually the Pipal tree - now known as Bodhi tree) and there he attained enlightenment. I have read that the current Bodhi tree is a 4th descendant of the original bodhi tree. They track this carefully, I understand. The trunk of the tree is protected by an enclosure, surrounded by stone walls with holes that allow you to look inside. Under the branches to the east of the trunk is a protective golden colored canopy covering the "diamond throne" - this is reputed to be the spot where Lord Buddha Shakyamuni sat. The diamond throne sits between the trunk of the tree and the Mahabodhi temple, which is situated immediately to the east. According to several traditions, the next Buddha of this world system, Maitreya will also attain enlightenment at the same spot.

A couple of days ago, Drichab and I were doing kora around the Mahabodhi temple. I really enjoy kora at this place. There is a very sweet energy to it. As we circled the temple and passed under the branches of the tree again and again, a man in a very nice business suit kept smiling and nodding at me. Then, during one kora as we rounded the corner of the temple and saw the south side of the tree, there was a group of people with monks wearing brown robes near the wall that surrounded the trunk of the tree and the diamond throne. A narrow gate in the wall was being opened and they were being allowed inside in small groups. This same man walked right up to me and said that it was a group visiting with a minister from Singapore, and that he was bringing them here to the Bodhi tree. He looked straight at me and said, "Do you want to go inside?" (How many languages can you say "YES" in?) So he shuttled me up front with the brown-robed monks. When a man who was guarding the gate moved to stop me, the man who invited me to go in said something in another language, and I was allowed to pass. I had to squeeze through the gate sideways - and right there beside me was the trunk of the Bodhi tree; and right before me was the diamond throne. I was able to do prostrations, make prayers and touch my forehead to the golden enclosure. I took a couple of pictures, but I do not have the connections to upload them. So that will have to wait until I return home. I was so fortunate to be right there at "ground zero." However, let me put this in perspective.



Yesterday as Rinpoche was giving a brief teaching to some pilgrims from Boston who heard her bestow lay vows under the Bodhi tree, and requested an appointment with her, a scholar of Buddhism who was among the group (a retired minister of tourism in India) asked about Maitreya. (Reputedly, Maitreya will also attain full enlightnment in Bodhgaya at the same spot under the Bodhi tree. You can see how this sets up every Maitreya-wanna-be to arrange to come to Bodhgaya and try to become conspicuous. I saw one such person when I was doing kora one day.)

In her response, Rinpoche asked him if the prophesy referred to Bodhgaya - this Bodhgaya - and to this tree. Then she said something like, "I say it like an American. I swear to God, it is not about the bodhi tree. The seat is on the interior," as she points to her heart center. They say that for a week Lord Buddha Shakyamuni sat and gazed at the bodhi tree with his eyes unblinking. He was not looking at the bodhi tree. He was looking at the interior. She waved her hands in front of her eyes to demonstrate. You could have done this and he would not have seen. He was not looking outwardly.

May everyone find the diamond throne in their own inner heart
and may there be a rain of dharma.

Reflections on Varanasi

I am writing this post on Varanasi from Bodhgaya. It has been bubbling in my mind for some time. We have now been to all the cities and villages we will visit, and so there is some basis for comparison. Varanasi is reputed to be the oldest continually inhabited city in the world. It is old. The small roads (more like alleys - and that is a generous description) are the smallest. It is the dirtiest (no small feat in India where everything is dirty), the people seem to be more cramped. The place is teaming with people and animals and noise. The sick and maimed are everywhere begging in the streets. There are small holes in the walls where a person must crouch to get in, and in these man-made caves, some people live. They burn fires and cook their meals, and the smoke pours into the street. Their fuel, by the way is cow dung. You must watch carefully as you walk the streets (this is true of everywhere we have been) in order to avoid stepping in fresh poop piles here and there. The animals roam mostly untethered, and go wherever they go. I don't even want to know what was on the nethermost hem of my shentap, but I was delighted to have it laundered! I notice that the dung stays in the streets no longer that 24-48 hours and then it has disappeared. No, there is no neat street cleaner. Someone has scooped it up, and it is formed into something that looks like a large hamburger patty and dried for fuel (you may noice some drying in the photo.) If it were not for this endless supply of animal dung, generously deposited by them on every street, there would be a severe fuel shortage. Imagine if you will, throwing this in your fireplace. What an interesting smoke it makes; and do you want to cook your meals over it!? (I promise not to bring one home as a souvenir- Or maybe I will. After all, I get to give my students the lecture later this quarter on treating diarrhea and constipation. Talk about an audiovisual aid!) Varanasi is also where we saw the burning ghats - where hundreds of the dead are cremated daily and their remains scattered into the Ganges. So death was in your face in Varanasi.

In contrast, we occasionally ate at a restaurant atop a hotel that was all done in marble - the floors, the walls- all marble. So there in Varanasi the story of Lord Buddha Shakyamuni came alive. It was not something of legend or fable or a movie. (No offense to the movie "Little Buddha", but it did not come close to conveying the stark contrast that must have occurred when Prince Siddhartha walked out of his privileged and sheltered palace, entered the streets and saw life as it was lived 2500 years ago (and is still lived today!!) There in Varanasi, in 3-D, with the sights and sounds and smells and tastes and textures, is the suffering and death he saw. Great bodhisattva that he was, it is no wonder he arose in unshakable determination and said, "This is not acceptable. I WILL find freedom. I will find a way to rescue all beings from cycling through this suffering endlessly. And I will not stop until I do!"

And he did: Here in Bodhgaya, where I will soon return to the temple and do kora and offer prayers.

May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness
May they be free from suffering and the causes of suffering

and may there be a rain of dharma

The tasks of a pilgrim

I admit that I have found it difficult to be always on the move and also be interior in meditation. Many others seem to have this capability, but I struggle. The first week or so we moved from place to place. Changchub(once she arrived) and I have been caring for the group members physical needs. I am doing a lions' share of the preventative work with such things as essential oils to fight colds and sinus problems (eucalyptus & pine), mosquito spray (an essential oil blend that includes citronella- this has become quite popular and when folks spot a mosquito the spray comes out and makes the rounds), and the prevention of the Indian version of "Montezuma's revenge". My preventative is palmarosa oil. I put 1 drop in each person's bottle of water. It doesn't taste great, but it is tolerable. One sangha member used it for 2-3 days and then didn't use it for one day. Then out came the pepto bismol and ginger to treat the nausea and diarrhea. So you'd think we'd all know to be careful. The bus ride to Bodgaya was 6-8 hours long and we stopped once for a bathroom break. Knowing this, I didn't drink much so I wouldn't be suffering in the bus needing a bathroom. It worked. However, when I was assigned to my room in Bodgaya, it had a bathroom without a toilet (almost everyone else had a toilet). Instead there is this porcelain hole in the ground and you are supposed to squat over it to go. Maybe 10 years ago that would have been okay). Two floors below me was a women's restroom off the main lobby with a toilet, so I made the trip down 2 floors every time I needed to use it. So, I just kept up not drinking much. You can see the story develop, can't you? Once I stop drinking, I am also not getting my palmarosa. Yup, for 1 day, I was the one being treated for nausea and vomiting. I AM TIRED OF THE TASTE OF PALMAROSA, but it's better than the alternative. Even Rinpoche sends her bottle of water to get a drop. I even hear rumors that she doesn't mind the taste. I brought enough palmarosa to treat water for the entire group for the length of pilgrimage. Once prevention has not worked, Changchub comes in with her treatments.

So moving around, being sick and then recovering and other distractions have made it a challenge for me to be meditative. Ngawang Pema has been most helpful. I requested suggestions from her on how to correct this situation and she keeps a gentle eye on me offering suggestions every now and then - walk slower, soften your gaze, look at Inner Guru, don't lean forward when taking care of the health issues - whatever is appropriate to the moment.

Here in Bodgaya, I finally got the material I need for my summer robes (20 meters of dark maroon fabric). Trying to find a tailor to get the sewing accomplished was another thing. For some reason, I ran into obstacle after obstacle. I began to suffer from that unique form of self-cherishing identifiable as "poor me". It began to get stronger and very frustrating. Yesterday many of us changed rooms as other guests checked out. I now have a bathroom with a toilet (sheer luxury!) and my room is directly below Rinpoche's. Then it occurred to me, "Sangmo, do tonglen." Of course! Duh! In about 2 minutes with a good dose of tonglen, self-cherishing reduces dramatically. Why had it taken me so long to apply the remedy?

Meditation was good! And this morning, I went to a tailor who took my order, measurements and specifications in short order. It was so easy. Hmmm, so there's an energetic shift for me. Now to the tasks of pilgrimage.

may there be a rain of dharma

Here we are in Sarnath

pictures: Yes, there are deer in Deer Park;
Stupa at Sarnath from a distance


(updated Jan 7th in Bodgaya)
Here we are in Sarnath, the site of Lord Buddha's first teaching; the first turning of the wheel of dharma. Rinpoche taught us sitting on the grass literally in the shadow of the stupa that sits over the site. As Rinpoche taught, several Tibetans noticed the robes and came over and listened. When we took refuge right there on the grass with half prostrations, several Asian men who were circumnambulating the stupa left the path and walked around us in respect so as not to walk between us and the stupa as we were prostrating. Rinpoche explained the circumstances of Lord Buddha's first teaching. After attaining enlightenment, Lord Buddha walked all the way to Sarnath - to Deer Park. It is a long ways to walk. He found the 5 mendicants who were his previous companions, and they saw that he was no longer emaciated. At first they made fun of him, calling him "fat", but then they saw that he had 'qualities' and they sat on the grass and listened to him teach. Rinpoche told us of the visions he saw (as Lord Buddha sat to teach, he saw a vision interior. There were 1000 gold thrones. He circumnambulated 3 of them and then sat on the 4th. On the interior, Brahma offered him a 1000 spoke golden wheel. Indra and other worldly gods requested him to turn the wheel of dharma in order to benefit all sentient beings. So much light went out from his body that it lighted the 3000 worlds.) and what they meant (Lord Buddha is the 3rd Buddha of the 1000 Buddhas that will teach in this world system.) I wish I had more time on this slow computer to put in detail. Perhaps when we arrive in Bodgaya tomorrow I will find another location and come back and edit this with detail of the teaching.

Rinpoche then commented on the 4 Noble Truths that Lord Buddha taught:

• Suffering exists (confusion and imbalance is obvious. They came from an original dysfunction.),
  
• Suffering has causes (Confusion and imbalance talks to itself and produces even more imbalance and confusion) ;
  
• The causes can be removed (perfection is possible. The original confusion can be cleared away. One can return to purity and be completely free of dysfunction);
• The method of removing the causes (the noble 8-fold path: Right: speech, action, livelihood, effort, mindfulness, concentration, attitude, and view).
  

She gave a more western slant to the teaching because we are almost all westerners (with the exception of John, who is Indian).

Again bringing in the idea of personality - our confusion and suffering will end with the healing of our personality. We are suffering from our personality - sitting in its strategies. Don't look at yourself; don't lean on your personality. (Look at Inner Guru instead.) When we release our grip on personality and let it heal - (authors comment: or rather let Inner Guru do his/her work with us.) Then you will finally be you. Our practice is an old, high practice. Doing it is the way to heal the personality. If you are feeling upset, disrespected, incapable - then do your practice.

We are in a nice hotel here. I even sent down my laundry to have it washed. The bed is actually soft and does not bottom out. Sheer luxury for a pilgrimage. Tomorrow we are back to guest houses and a simpler daily schedule. We walk everywhere with our malas doing mantra. I am amazed at the deference with which I am treated by many of the Indian people. They see my robes; they see my silvering hair; and they assume something. I am not sure what exactly - but I am treated like a holy woman - even though I am clearly American. What is a holy woman? How would you define it? What makes one holy? More things to think about. I'd better do LOTS of practice to live up to that.

may there be a rain of dharma