Perceptions

I thought that I had posted for the last time on this particular blog already...but hit some unknown key on the keyboard and suddenly there the blog was...actually the picture was the first thing that I saw and then it dawned on me where I was...and after reading Tinley's post and having shivers run down my spine and comprehension come into focus I was inspired to add yet another thought in relation to the pilgrimage and perception.

One of my perceptions regarding India was that everything was new and different...I had never been on a bicycle rickshaw before, or tasted Indian food, or sat in the shadow of the stupa at Sarnath...or a million other little (and big) things. I had never been to India before...and after reading Tinley's email and having the phrase "Why aren't you bored yet?" pop into my mind...I realized that this perception I held about India could not possibly be true.

Through uncontrolled rebirth and the emanation process, we have returned again and again and again, been everywhere, played every role, done every misdeed known to man...done everything...nothing is new...well maybe one thing...

Nothing is new, except perhaps the process of transformation...it is the very thing that we have not yet experienced...so hence the question...why can we not see it? Why do we continue to yearn for newness within samsara when it can not be found...we are limited by our perceptions...and thus we continue to play in samsara.

My response to that...I am not interested in playing in samsara anymore...I am not interested in doing the same old repetitive activities and for what end? A moment of happiness...temporary...that falls away just as it comes into existence...and that really does not even come close to the joy that can be found within the transformative process and path.... So the question becomes...where do my priorities lie...and will I be able to hold that perception...

I hope to be able to hold these lessons carefully that I have learned from this pilgrimage...because really...I have no desire to learn them again:)

Blessings,
Menma

A zillion hello's

Dear Sangha,

I guess people are viewing the blog less frequently now as life, day by day, like a space ship pulling away from a planet which once loomed large is now a memorable past. For me, our India retreat is like that now. I guess in time those memories will join the peat bog of our past experiences being buried more deeply as time passes by more current experiences.
The burning ghats experience we shared burned itself most deeply for me. I saw one body roasting red mosaic flesh where the cloth had burned away and I was not offended. It was a potent image of my fate and sometimes when I look in the mirror and notice another grey hair it reminds me how real that is and how much I would dread arriving at my death bed not having ever "got it".
Perhaps "got it" will mean different things to everyone. For me Buddhism, especially as delivered by Rinpoche, is like a big hand placing me in outer space and saying "look there all around". I can only imagine having the perceptions to see those glittering galaxies, multiple level realities and myriad beings constantly transforming and (for what?) I would think. Why so much effort and energy for the big ever changing light and sound show we are part of?
Back on earth I'm experiencing my mood swings again and the various other "my's" I am growing tired of. I only wish for arising altruism to become more engaged though it seems to happen in small moves. May it lead to action...may we all grow tired of our "my's" and express in unique ways our purpose for being here....and may we create a more awake world.
Hope everyone well and acknowledging your journey.


I said a zillion hello's to you
and saw you as one hundred
thousand butterflies
beautifying environments
Slept near you for an aeon
and pulled my jeans on
don't know how many times

Sat in the sun contemplating
for a million years
and saw a million cars
roll by where a million
saintly beings sat
a million years ago
and twiddled my thumbs
don't know how many times

Got angry with you five hundred
thousand times
and held resentments for
a millenia
while the earth spun trillions
and the creators looked on
holding everything in place for us
do you know how many times?

Looked in the mirror
a hundred trillion times
as the faults in my mind
arose and fell away
and I didn't see myself
as I put my make-up on
a billion years passed
I don't know how many times

Surrendered to the blows of
the carver's hands
for 200 million years
spending my days in a daze
for cycles and cycles
I looked up to a vast sky
that I thought I could become
and threw it all away...
I don't know... how many times

Though all things are like a dream...

Sitting here crossed legged on the dining room floor at the Hill St. center in Madison wanting to make one final contribution to this wonderful compilation of experiences, reflections, and thoughts. What can I say...what is there left to write about..? There must be something still left to say and as I think that thought a line from Lama Chopa comes to mind.

"Though all things are like a dream, lacking inherent or natural existence..."

What are dreams? What is reality? India feels like a dream to me...Even now...I see a picture of the Ganges or remember standing on the rooftop of Ganpati guest house and still feel disbelief that I was actually there...that it was not a dream. We were really there in India, we were at physical locations named "Varansai" and "Bodhgaya"...and going further...the only thing that seperated us from the events connected with those physical locations was time...the passage of time...we were within the same space...the same space where Sidhartha attained enlightenment and became known as Lord Buddha Shakyamuni...and he is not gone...he remains...but not in the space...he remains in the Dharma...the living Dharma...

...where am I going with this post? you might ask...even I am not really sure...but there is something about the nature of time and space that is not as rigid and defined as we thought it was...and there is something about the nature of reality that is more dreamlike and flexible that we can see right now. That is what it was important for me to reflect on tonight...

And in keeping with this being the final posting that I plan to make to this blog...I want to thank everyone for being who they were in India and for being willing to make the changes that needed to happen...I include myself in this group...and I thank Rinpoche, Pema, Drichab, Dewa and many others for supporting me in that process. I look forward to continuing to integrate what happened and what I learned and watching others do the same...

And finally...I had intended to put this somewhere for future reference...but never quite got to it....so I will say a few things now in regards to packing...

What I learned about packing for a pilgrimage in India...?
1. Traveling light is very very good...the lighter the better...I think we all were overpacked...well except Pema Dorje...who I remember thinking was very lucky for not having to haul a ton of "essentials" around.

2. Wet wipes and dust masks were essential...and very hard to find in India. Toilet paper was valuable but easily found most of the time.

3. Gauze, tea tree oil, tape were the best things for cleaning and dressing owies in India...forget the fancy first aid kits. I still think the Ace bandage and disposable ice packs were a good idea...thankfully we did not need to use them. Pepto bismal for GI stuff was essential...I used my antibiotic that I brought as well. Would have loved to have Vitamin C and Echinacea along for colds as well as over the counter cold tablets. And we learned that there are mosquiotos in India in the winter...so bug spray was good...Sangmo's purification essential oil spray was very popular. Other essential oil hits were RC, Eucalyptis, and peppermint. I brought Thieves too...but mostly it was too strong to use...

4. Clothes...we all brought too many...they can be washed...Pema's recommendation had been 3 outfits...that was plenty...and take into account buying clothes when you figure that one out. I found that a skirt with long underwear was the most practical and culturally sensitive option. I just about wore out the skirt I brought. I bought a shawl that was a silk wool blend and that was usually warm enough during the day...for early mornings or cooler days I had a light fleece jacket and hat...I didn't wear the hat much though...but I wasn't in Tso Pema either....was colder there.

5. Find a hot water coil as soon as you can once you arrive in India...was well worth the trouble of searching it out...

6. I brought my Lam Rim...was good for the flights but impractical to carry around...and I really didn't read much in India anyway...next time I would save it for when I returned home. And I learned that you could use just about anything as a meditation cushion...I'm no longer attached to the one I used before India...so just in case you were wondering how to go on pilgrimage without your cushion...

I am sure that there were more things that i wanted to include in this list...but it is late and I must retire for the night...so with that...I close this email...

Blessings to all the pilgrims who were with us in India and those that remained in America (or elsewhere) but participated strongly nonetheless...and much love,
Menma

Home

I definately feel "like a new one" as Rinpoche would say.

Pilgrimage with Rinpoche was a wonderful experience that changed me for the better in to many ways to list. Purification occurred beyond what I was capable of achieving here at home. Longstanding obscurations are gone and I am thinking much more clearly.

These changes have stayed with me and I feel that my inner practice is making great steps forward.

Thank you Rinpoche for a unbelievable experience!

Thank you to Jugney, John, Pema and others who made the trip so seemless for us.

Have I changed? Silently waited for a sign

I have wondered at various times if any transformations solidly or flexibly took place through the experience of pilgrimage. I knew I wouldn't have any way to truly measure the profundity of my experience until I observed a new response or obvious change in my own behavior and/or thoughts. Coming back I seemed to blend right in as if I hadn't left which was much different to the spiritual culture shock I experienced coming back from Bali, my first winter meditation retreat. (But perhaps this time I just learned to bring the interior back in and transition well. Being on pilgrimage versus a meditation retreat, one learns to keep an eye on the interior while shifting around in the external world as is needed for continuous traveling. And this is a good practice for being a continuous practitionner/meditator while living our every day lives in the 'non-retreat' world.)

Well, I waited for the signs without attachments. Just going about my life, business as usual, occasionally thinking, "any signs of change?". But one day, I noticed myself within a certain situation. I realized I had an option as to how and whether I reacted to a certain situation/family dynamic which has occurred many times throughout my life. JUST NOTICING I HAD AN OPTION AND THAT ONE OF THE DECISIONS WOULDN'T BE A VERY WISE RESPONSE WAS EVIDENCE that deep change had occured. I considered the results of both possible actions I could embark on and remembered Rinpoche's words, "Do not respond to anger with anger." Simple. Yet, as Rinpoche had pointed out in a teaching: One fact we know is that there is change. "What are noticeable changes and what are unnoticeable changes?" Examples from the students came: "Whether has noticeable changes... seasons.... physical body aging... objects breaking..., etc." But then one person said that "our emotions are examples of noticeable change." AHA! "Would that it were SO!" Rinpoche exclaimed. Apparently this is one of the changes that we experience regularly that are NOT noticeable. If we COULD notice when this change occured, perhaps we could do something about it, perhaps we would even remember that it was impermanent, perhaps we would not feel imprisoned by the grips of needing to keep or remove this experience of emotion.

Continuing along with my story... The fact that I could noticeably RECOGNIZE my state of mind, make a new decision and then even ACT upon that decision showed me that one of Rinpoche's teachings had stuck (ie: Do not respond to anger with anger) and that I had contemplated the deep wisdom enough times in meditation and contemplation throughout retreat that when the unexpected situation arose, the Dharma came to me like a person instructing me firmly on the path, drawing a line, not permitting me to make the wrong decision. As if a wrathful diety held me away from the obscuration with a flaming sword, not permitting my tongue to pass. My new decision floored me, because I had not realized it was not the right decision ever before. It was always just an automatic response that felt normal, familiar and thus comfortable within the family dynamic prior to this moment, and I had "always never" questioned my automated reaction. Suddenly this instant, Karma shifted. I was able to make a new decision, point my path in a new direction, and create a new Karma that would hopefully have more positive ramifications. In the moment, the lovely ramification was that I did not release my anger and receive temporary satisfaction at the cost of escalating the other person's frustration and slaying understanding. At the very least, we did not escalate, and at the very most, I did not cause my mother to stress and induce asthma. And perhaps enabled a good day and a good ripple to be released into the world. Perhaps she even enjoyed the moment.

As I like to say, Karma grew a bright new petal.

May your lotus bloom and benefit all sentient beings.

Wishes

Thankyou to everyone. Retreat was a strong experience for me. A whirlwind of influences came thru my mind and heart. I didn't manage to understand everything I saw or heard. Seems our society tries to coach us to put everything into order to be understood but sometimes it's nice to let things be..

Flowers from Nalanda..
Tibetan man chanting every morning at Majnu ka tila.

Thankyou Rinpoche.
From the after retreat space at Rinpoche's house in California,


Homage to the great ones
who have walked this earth
or whose presence has
beautified the human mind

Like lone flowers
having gone untrampled
they have held the frequency
of sanity since beginningless time

Pouring wisdom nectar
into our veins, into our
secret codes awaiting
the days of fruition

Homage to those who
look upon us smilingly
occupying the grandstands of our
imagination
ready for a standing ovation
upon our awakening

We fill our minds
with only virtuous quality
knowing this as the only
fuel for our journey
toward inner perfection

May these flowers become numerous
May they spring directly from hard rocks
and split them to soil
May they grip concrete and glass
and reclaim something lost long ago
and May they rain soft twirling petals
from a cloudless sky

this is my great wish.

Picture

I see these fine pictures and I so love to see how each person sees, Thank you for sharing.

Time

I have been reading the many post today and it reminded me of my experience of time in India. There was none. I new when it was morning by the sun and I knew when it was night by dark anything else was completely forengin to me. Very simple. I just had know place in my being for it. Many times before a teaching is given the date and year is expressed and it always fascinated me that Rinpoche had know idea what day of the week or the date was. Well you could say I was in a different country with so many new and different experiences and that is all true. But for myself it was letting this not knowing, what place in time I was in, expect where was the pilgrimage leading today. It was like losing myself but in a good way, losing myself just in the moment. What this pilgrimage gave me was permission to let all the care taking and responsibility go and as said by my Native American teachers " placed myself in the path of spirit" or in this case the path of the Buddha. Now I am aware what day it is mainly by the rhythms of the house but I most say I liked living in no time but the moment.
Tsering

Pictures

Pictures: Domo Geshe Rinpoche left) and monk (right) at Mahakala cave monastery discussing his root guru (who was a friend of Rinpoche's). pictures by Deki

I went back through my posts, corrected the spelling and grammatical errors (I hope I got them all), and uploaded some pictures to most of them, so you can see Varanasi and the Mahabodhi temple. I encourage others to do the same, so many can share in the visual as well as the words we wrote.

love to all pilgrims, those who went in body and those who went in mind only

may there be a rain of dharma

Home

European Sangha has arrived home safely. Looking forward to my next meeting with you all.




White Conch In Bodhgaya












Rinpoche in Nalanda









Lhakpa Dolma

Mind of satisfaction

If you haven't figured it out from this blog yet, anyone can have the qualities of a pilgrim without being a pilgrim on the outside. But while we have all been softening our gaze at personality and identity, we have not been looking strongly at the qualities of a pilgrim. And why should we?

As Menma said, "We were practitioners, we were pilgrims, and we simply were..."

But now in reflection, it seems like a good time to take note of these qualities. So here I am thinking about the mind of satisfaction.

While we were in India, lots of unexpected and difficult things happened. People got very sick with colds, flu, and sick tummies. Flights were cancelled with dangers of international flights being missed. Buses had to travel long periods over potentially dangerous road. Were were stuck in cities with no hotel reservations. And on and on. But you rarely heard about them in this blog.

Why?

Because they were never really an issue at all. In the scheme of things, they barely mattered. The only reason they are worth mentioning at all is that they weren't worth mentioning.

Why?

Because the mind of satisfaction was unwavering in the entire group.

Sure we talk about salads and hot showers. But not because we were dissatisfied with our accommodations. We talk about them because we appreciate the convenience that they afford in caring for our bodies so that we can spend more time thinking about practice. I do appreciate not having to watch all my food to make sure that I am avoiding unsafe foods because this energy can be put to practice. I do appreciate hot water all the time so that I do not have to spend extra time planning how I will stay warm in order to avoid a cold. But I was just as satisfied in India.

And because of that, things are much simpler. Satisfied with what you have, delighted with the unexpected. Life is less complicated. Energy is freed up for more important things. ANd the craving, gnawing itch that something must be had is forgotten, nullified, completely gone. Abandoned, totally replaced.

MIND OF SATISFACTION.

What a wonderful thing. And its totally contagious. Try it sometime.

"Happy New You" to Lhakpa Dolma

Dear Lhakpa Dolma,

I greeted you last night as Lhakpa Dolma in my dream...just as we greeted each other on the roof in Varanasi under the stars as the New Year came forward...except both of us are different now...and thus I greet you again with "Happy New You"

The name fits you well my friend. I look forward to greeting you in person soon.

Take Care, your sister in the Dharma
Menma

Reflections continued

Hello to fellow pilgrims (those in India and those in America),

I am continuing to remain partially between Indian and Wisconsin time, which makes for some interesting days and nights:) I awoke this morning, early (like 3 am) convinced that I was still in India...despite the fact that it was quiet outside and my cat was sleeping next to me. After a few minutes, logic came forward and I accepted the fact that I was not in India:)

Unable to fall back asleep, I crawled out of bed, made some breakfast, and sat down at my computer. My attention returned to my travel journal, laying open at the desk where I had left it the day before, when I had begun looking at it, intent on piecing together the past few weeks, both for my own process and in order to share with others just what happened. After several hours I have pieced together a travel log of the discussions, practices and teachings received on pilgrimage...for anyone who wants copies...let me know.

However, despite completing this log...much feels up in the air...where did the time go? How am I changed? Rinpoche said something very early on in the retreat, during the teaching on personality..."Who am I?"..."I am me"

I am not the person who got on a plane for the first time in my life, or the person who stepped off into a foreign country, or even the person that sat gazing up at the Bodhi tree...I am who I am....and at the same time I am not that one...

So, now, as the questions start to filter to the surface...what comes to mind is...and I ask myself and I ask you all: What did we do on pilgrimage? Or perhaps the question is more of, "What did it mean to be on pilgrimage? because it strikes me that pilgrimage is not something that involves doing but rather being.

Some of the thoughts that come to mind...on pilgrimage...
We learned. We experienced. We remembered. We struggled, we persevered and we triumphed. We practiced and we requested. We listened, we heard and we understood.

We were practitioners, we were pilgrims, and we simply were...

I can't come up with a better way to say it...and as I will sit in Thiensville, WI tonight, where a group is gathering at Jim and Ozer's house to share tales and stories about India...I know that some stories, some experiences to be shared will be funny, some will be hard to believe, some will be joyful, some will simply be what they are... and some stories and experiences will remain wordless and inexpressible...held carefully inside...in a place where they will be remembered energetically.

Perhaps the true answer to the question I asked...is that pilgrimage is simply a journey... a journey to outer locations, but it is also a journey to inner places, and a remembering of those energetic addresses.

Be well all and much love,
Menma

Someone else's zen

Hmmm, here I have been back in the US for 3 days and am only now unpacking. I probably wouldn't even be tackling it now, except that I need a suitcase. I leave tomorrow for Beaver Dam to teach aromatherapy this weekend. I will certainly have examples to share about using the oils on myself and fellow pilgrims in India.

So it is that I just discovered someone else's zen in my suitcase. How it got there is a bit of a mystery to me, but I have the maroon and white zen of some ngakmo in my suitcase - and it is not mine. If you are missing a maroon and white zen that you had made at the tailor's in Delhi (not the one in Bodhgaya), I have it - along with some extra white material that was used in making the zen. It looks to be winter-weight material. The maroon is the darker maroon (closer to the monastic color than the ngakphang color). So, if this is yours, let me know and we'll reunite you with your zen.

Truly Pilgrims in America

You have truly become a lifelong pilgrim when you know where home is -- on the inside. Love to the pilgrims everywhere. May you land in your new place like the first rays of light, soft and warm and gentle.

What kind of tea? Milk Tea, Butter Tea, etc.

Thank you to Sangmo for posting about those last few days in India, allows me to continue with the lighthearted posts about India:) I have just woken up...yes I know that it is almost 8pm here...but I am having a much more challenging time switching back to Wisconsin time and culture...making progress though, I was up for the majority of the day.

Anyway, today's post wil l be about (drum roll please, non-Chod damaru though) TEA., and not just any tea...tea in India. What prompted this post? you might ask. Well, I just attempted to make milk tea here in America...and it is close, but not quite the same. And then there is the fact that Sangmo has been wanting me to write the infamous "milk tea" post since we arrived in Amsterdam...or maybe even before that...so here it is.

The first Indian tea that I experienced was at Potala guest house in Manjukatila the first day of the retreat. It was listed on the menu as "milk tea" and it was a wonderful and comforting blend of milk, sugar, and a familiar Chai taste...I however think that there was more sugar and milk in the tea than tea...if there was any tea at all:) We came to know this tea under many names: milk tea, sweet tea, milk and sugar tea, and masala tea (I was told at some point by a local that masala was the Indian version of Chai) Everyone in India seems to drink Masala tea, and we had it everywhere...I even had a cup sitting with Sonam in a tiny backroom apothecary filled from floor to ceiling with spices, essential oils, and incense.

The next tea I also had at Potala guest house, after Karma ordered milk tea and received this by mistake (a common occurence at meal times...I remember ordering a cheese omlette and recieving a chesse sandwich...but it was ok)...and it was Tibetan Butter Tea. Now, for anyone who has ever tried this tea...I found it much more helpful to drink it as you would a soup, rather than a tea, and in that context it was a very comforting and filling...ahh...liquid. We also were served Butter Tea at the monastery at Mahakala cave as well, which was a warm welcome.

Next up, was a hot lemon tea, again at Potala guest house, which was very good, but not all together unusual. I think that I came close to exhausting every version of tea on that menu, but not quite...I don't think that I had needed ginger tea yet...:)

At Ganpati guest house in Varanasi I discovered a new kind of tea with much delight, mint tea...which wasn't like mint tea you buy here...it was the actual plant in the hot water and it was delicious and refreshing and a wonderful adjunct to the spicy food (which really wasn't all that spicy, but by my standards it was plenty spicy) Later on in the trip, at Sarnath I discovered the benefits of ginger tea for nausea and later lemon-ginger with honey for colds.

And to think, I brought tea with me to India (laughing)...but in reality I was glad that I did...the lavender-chamomile and peppermint herbal teas came in handy on multiple occasions...especially with the convenience of a water coil (which heated water alot faster than my stove, I might add) and a ceramic cup:)

Blessings to all,
Menma

Emergency Mala

The reflections continue with the story of my first venturing out since returning to Wausau, WI. I decided today that my mala needed a transformation to coincide with the changes I had undergone while on retreat and thus, I set out to the craft store thinking that it would be a safe first trip out. I also felt the need to go out because I wanted to get the film out to be developed...me and my old fashioned camera:)

Well, I kept thinking I was forgetting something leaving the house - I had my wallet, my phone, my hat, me...but something was missing. I realized that it was my mala that I was missing after I was already in the car and on the way. Well, as I was starting to feel shaky, I remembered that I had a mala in my car, a small wrist mala that Pema had so thoughtfully given to me last year for Christmas, and so half jokingly I pulled out this "emergency mala" and began to do Guru mantra in the car, as I was out and about, even in the store. The feeling eased slightly as I remembered the dynamic of reliance and fell back into my familiar and comfortable pattern of methodically passing each soft bead between my fingers as the mantra flowed through my mind.

The trip out was short. Energetically I felt very overwhelmed and as such it is back to the meditation cushion for me. I will save more logistical things for later.

Hope all is well with the group. Thank you Jugney for posting about the Tibetan monastery, I could almost feel being there, with the wind blowing through the prayer flags and across the water.

Blessings,
Menma

Home is where you hold your heart

As I arrived back in Chicago I had a similar experience to you, Menma. I was writing an email to let those who loved me know I had arrived back safely in the states. I started by writing a title of "I'm home" to my india update email group, and I stopped and erased the title.

I titled the new email, "I'm back in the US!" ...and proceeded to carefully leave home out of the email entirely.

"Hello everyone,
I am safely at Glenwood Avenue! I took a VERY long, hot shower and ate a salad of fresh vegetables to celebrate American-style living.
And now I am relaxing and having a cup of tea to celebrate India-style living.
I love you all and will see you soon!
Aimee"

In India, a place felt like home when I had set up the altar. Unlike anytime in the past, I quickly moved to unpack when we arrived in a new place. But I was not rushing to unpack clothes--I was unpacking the outer objects of my dharma practice. I was carefully moving the furniture and arranging the objects to create a suitable altar, and checking in with my roomates to find out if they had additions to create our outer home. My clothes and toiletries remained packed until I absolutely needed them, but home had to be established first and my expression of creating home there was creating an altar.

Though I am back, I don't feel at home just being in my apartment and my city, and it's more than culture shock. I don't feel like there is a home on the outside in the same way I used to.

Those who love and care for me and have cared for me so carefully throughout my life will always be dear. In fact, despite my feeling of not being at home in the same way, I think I have a much larger appreciation of their care and kindness. But my view has changed.

Home is on the inside.
Home is where I hold my heart.
It's almost 2am here, and I need to teach tomorrow, but I think first I need to go to my cushion to check in with home.
Thank you so much, Rinpoche, for helping me to find home!
May you all hold home very dear and may you stay carefully connected to that which is truly home.

Love,
Dewa

Home is where you hang your hat...reflections continued

With new eyes I walked off the plane at O'hare airport in Chicago, busy busy busy, but in a different way then in India...perhaps with less mindfulness. We made our way through customs with out any challenges and picked up our bags, all of them, and proceeded to say our "see you soons" and final words of reflection on the past weeks.

Walking out of the airport I was met with a blast of icy cold air and with snow swirling around my feet. Fresh clean air rather than heaviness and snow rather than dust...interesting how so many miles can change so much. Into the car, on the right side of the road, lanes enforced, seatbelts...the drive was nothing compared to the bus rides in India, even my 3 hour drive back up to Wausau was nothing.

So we are home safe and sound, and I took a hot bath and washed off the dust of the last 3 days...not to mention tossed my clothes in the washer on the heavy cycle and left my shoes at the door to be dealt with in the morning. In light of having choices about food safety we ate ice cream and cheeseburgers, salads and chocolate. There was toilet paper in all the toilet stalls and the soap and water to wash. It is quiet outside, so quiet that I may have a hard time adjusting back to it...or perhaps not:)

So, that is the "we arrived safe" posting...late as it may be since the blog was not allowing me to sign in earlier today when I arrived home. And speaking of home...just what does home mean to you?

I wanted to share a reflection that I had on our 8 hour bus trip from Patna to Varansai...on whatever day that was...those last few days are kindof a blur. It was dark outside but the bus was dimly lit and as I gazed upward from my cramped seat I noticed that there was a maroon hat hanging from the luggage rack above the seat in front of me. It struck me at that moment that home really is where you hang your hat...and for us in that place and at that time, home was this rickety old bus. Yes, we yearned for the comforts of the guest house we were supposed to be at in Manjukatila...but as our buttons were tested, we took it in stride and just said, "well thats India for ya" and used the time to rest, or share, or meditate. We shared so much on that bus, and not just words...also squares of toilet paper:) and junk food of many kinds...and wetwipes of course.

Anyway, I was thinking as I arrived back in Milwaukee, that I was arriving back to a physical location that I had called home...but really I felt much more at home on that bus with precious Guru and my fellow Dharma practitioners. I realized that I would give all of this up...the luxurious bath, comfortable bed, clean food and water, quiet, space, clean air, etc...to be back in India, in a place where "home" was more than a defined physical space...it was fluid...more of a state of mind. I was at "home" in India on this pilgrimage.

Hmm...and the real home is yet to come...afterall...as we know...the human realm is not our home...even India:)

So to those who remain in India, savor every minute...even the not so desirable ones, and be at home....and keep posting...I loved reading the updates...I have many more thoughts to post, but will do so in the morning...it is midnight here and I have slept only nominally in the last 48 hours.

Much love,
Menma

India

Are you having good practices in preparation? I can't wait to see you all! Sonam