As I arrived back in Chicago I had a similar experience to you, Menma. I was writing an email to let those who loved me know I had arrived back safely in the states. I started by writing a title of "I'm home" to my india update email group, and I stopped and erased the title.
I titled the new email, "I'm back in the US!" ...and proceeded to carefully leave home out of the email entirely.
"Hello everyone,
I am safely at Glenwood Avenue! I took a VERY long, hot shower and ate a salad of fresh vegetables to celebrate American-style living.
And now I am relaxing and having a cup of tea to celebrate India-style living.
I love you all and will see you soon!
Aimee"
In India, a place felt like home when I had set up the altar. Unlike anytime in the past, I quickly moved to unpack when we arrived in a new place. But I was not rushing to unpack clothes--I was unpacking the outer objects of my dharma practice. I was carefully moving the furniture and arranging the objects to create a suitable altar, and checking in with my roomates to find out if they had additions to create our outer home. My clothes and toiletries remained packed until I absolutely needed them, but home had to be established first and my expression of creating home there was creating an altar.
Though I am back, I don't feel at home just being in my apartment and my city, and it's more than culture shock. I don't feel like there is a home on the outside in the same way I used to.
Those who love and care for me and have cared for me so carefully throughout my life will always be dear. In fact, despite my feeling of not being at home in the same way, I think I have a much larger appreciation of their care and kindness. But my view has changed.
Home is on the inside.
Home is where I hold my heart.
It's almost 2am here, and I need to teach tomorrow, but I think first I need to go to my cushion to check in with home.
Thank you so much, Rinpoche, for helping me to find home!
May you all hold home very dear and may you stay carefully connected to that which is truly home.
Love,
Dewa
Showing posts with label Dewa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dewa. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
In Amsterdam for the first time
Hello from Amsterdam! We have arrived here safely for all who are wondering about our progress and will be heading out on flights in just a couple of hours.
I am not the same person who set out on this journey of pilgrimage.
I hope you will allow your new eyes to see me as I am now. Different.
Always, on retreat I have an experience of shedding skin. On this pilgrimage I earned a callous on my mala-feeding thumb. On the bus ride making my way to an eventual destination of the airport the old, tough, dried out, calloused, dead skin started to peel away and there is fresh, new skin peeking out on the end of my mala-feeding thumb.
I am not the same person.
I do not wear the same skin.
My eyes are the eyes of a pilgrim. My skin is the skin of a pilgrim.
May you, too, allow yourself to shed the old and rise up in the powerful, new you!
I am not the same person who set out on this journey of pilgrimage.
I hope you will allow your new eyes to see me as I am now. Different.
Always, on retreat I have an experience of shedding skin. On this pilgrimage I earned a callous on my mala-feeding thumb. On the bus ride making my way to an eventual destination of the airport the old, tough, dried out, calloused, dead skin started to peel away and there is fresh, new skin peeking out on the end of my mala-feeding thumb.
I am not the same person.
I do not wear the same skin.
My eyes are the eyes of a pilgrim. My skin is the skin of a pilgrim.
May you, too, allow yourself to shed the old and rise up in the powerful, new you!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
From the End to the Beginning
Hello friends,
We are now in Sarnath, the location where the Buddha gave his first teaching after leaving Bodhgaya where he attained enlightenment. We went to the stupa (a structure symbolizing the enlightened mind of the buddha) located at the site where he gave that teaching. When we arrived we first visited a temple that contained relics of Buddha Shakymuni (remains after cremation). There were several golden Buddha statues and paintings on all of the walls that depicted his life. Before we even went into the temple I had a warm prickling sensations of energy! I don't know if that is a sensation that would be unique to meditators or if others also have that sensation when visiting the site!
After visiting inside the temple we walked through the ruins of the monasteries that were located on that spot --over 2,000 years old! Not much remains standing, but again, the energy is still there! We then did cora around the stupa, which is circling around it and reciting mantra.
There were deer in Deer Park! They were beautiful--fuzzy antlered, big-eyed, trusting creatures.
***
Previous to being in Sarnath we were in Benares, Varnassi, I am told it is the oldest continually inhabited city in the world? Though I have not checked that fact myself. Culturally, it seemed like that might be true! This is a very holy place in Hinduism. It is the home of the Burning Ghats on the Ganges river. 500-600 Hindus per day are cremated at the Burning Ghats and their ashes are spread in Gangama (the Ganges River)--known to Hindus as the goddess Ganga.
We really started our pilgrimage in Benares and Rinpoche's first teachings of the pilgrimage were on impermanence. We went to the site of the Burning Ghats and watched humans being cremated. Our times will come too soon. To remember to live life fully, now, while we have it, was one lesson. To not waste our precious human life was another. I don't feel afraid of death, or afraid of my own end now. But I certainly feel motivated to meditate to improve my own energy so that I am ready when the time comes. Whatever your practice is, I hope you too feel the fire of motivation to pursue it!
Benares, as I said before, does feel ancient in some ways. To get to the banks of the ganges, where we stayed, we had to take four different forms of transportation, from bus to taxi, to rickshaw taxi, to foot. They do not allow, nor do they have streets wide enough to accomodate, cars of any kind to the banks. They keep the ancient narrow winding alleys that protect the sanctity of their holy place and carry the dead to the Ghats. Cows and goats roam the streets and alleys. Children fly kites with incredible skill over the Ganges. And at night, and in the morning, children sell flower-filled leaf bows at the banks of the ganges with a butter lamp in the center. You can buy one for a few rupees and make a wish of Ganga-ma then set your wish afloat in the river. People still bathe in the Ganges. Many naked men and children hop in and scrub themselves and then take a swim. They are bathing in a goddess. That seems a pretty wonderful bath! Though, I think your constitution would have to be incredible to stand it!
And the people. I have not yet touched upon the people in this incredible place. I learned my first lesson of the pilgrimage from a flower vendor our first morning on the Ganges. We were walking along the river in soupy fog, and children flower-offering vendors approached us asking us to buy flowers. They are persistent and followed us, and after I refused numerous times, one small girl asked why I did not buy. "Do you have no money?" she asked me. Not wanting to explain that I had no change for my R500 (500 rupee bill--she was asking 5 rupees and would have taken 2 rupees which is the equivalent of 4-10 cents) I answered yes. I have no money. Free. She replied to me. Take this for free. Oh, no I couldn't I told her. No. Free. She insisted. It is good luck.
I was incredibly touched by her. She had almost nothing, materially, compared to me. She sells flowers for 4cents a bowl for a living. And yet, she was willing to give me one for free when she thought I had nothing. It helped me to realize that though people may appear to be suffering on the outside, they may not be on the inside. And I aspire to be as giving as her.
***
India's streets are an experience you cannot believe! I now understand the Indian drivers back in Chicago. They are not "bad" drivers, they are incredibly skilled. They just learned an entirely different skill set for driving here. You are safest on the street if you are a cow. They are plenty and no one hits them. I have seen more than one cow-related traffic jam!
As Trilbu just said to me (she is a friend reading over my shoulder waiting for a computer in a crowded little internet shop), "It gives a whole new meaning to HOLY COW!"
I love you all! I hope you are living your life in an alive and awake fashion!
Much love,
Dewa
We are now in Sarnath, the location where the Buddha gave his first teaching after leaving Bodhgaya where he attained enlightenment. We went to the stupa (a structure symbolizing the enlightened mind of the buddha) located at the site where he gave that teaching. When we arrived we first visited a temple that contained relics of Buddha Shakymuni (remains after cremation). There were several golden Buddha statues and paintings on all of the walls that depicted his life. Before we even went into the temple I had a warm prickling sensations of energy! I don't know if that is a sensation that would be unique to meditators or if others also have that sensation when visiting the site!
After visiting inside the temple we walked through the ruins of the monasteries that were located on that spot --over 2,000 years old! Not much remains standing, but again, the energy is still there! We then did cora around the stupa, which is circling around it and reciting mantra.
There were deer in Deer Park! They were beautiful--fuzzy antlered, big-eyed, trusting creatures.
***
Previous to being in Sarnath we were in Benares, Varnassi, I am told it is the oldest continually inhabited city in the world? Though I have not checked that fact myself. Culturally, it seemed like that might be true! This is a very holy place in Hinduism. It is the home of the Burning Ghats on the Ganges river. 500-600 Hindus per day are cremated at the Burning Ghats and their ashes are spread in Gangama (the Ganges River)--known to Hindus as the goddess Ganga.
We really started our pilgrimage in Benares and Rinpoche's first teachings of the pilgrimage were on impermanence. We went to the site of the Burning Ghats and watched humans being cremated. Our times will come too soon. To remember to live life fully, now, while we have it, was one lesson. To not waste our precious human life was another. I don't feel afraid of death, or afraid of my own end now. But I certainly feel motivated to meditate to improve my own energy so that I am ready when the time comes. Whatever your practice is, I hope you too feel the fire of motivation to pursue it!
Benares, as I said before, does feel ancient in some ways. To get to the banks of the ganges, where we stayed, we had to take four different forms of transportation, from bus to taxi, to rickshaw taxi, to foot. They do not allow, nor do they have streets wide enough to accomodate, cars of any kind to the banks. They keep the ancient narrow winding alleys that protect the sanctity of their holy place and carry the dead to the Ghats. Cows and goats roam the streets and alleys. Children fly kites with incredible skill over the Ganges. And at night, and in the morning, children sell flower-filled leaf bows at the banks of the ganges with a butter lamp in the center. You can buy one for a few rupees and make a wish of Ganga-ma then set your wish afloat in the river. People still bathe in the Ganges. Many naked men and children hop in and scrub themselves and then take a swim. They are bathing in a goddess. That seems a pretty wonderful bath! Though, I think your constitution would have to be incredible to stand it!
And the people. I have not yet touched upon the people in this incredible place. I learned my first lesson of the pilgrimage from a flower vendor our first morning on the Ganges. We were walking along the river in soupy fog, and children flower-offering vendors approached us asking us to buy flowers. They are persistent and followed us, and after I refused numerous times, one small girl asked why I did not buy. "Do you have no money?" she asked me. Not wanting to explain that I had no change for my R500 (500 rupee bill--she was asking 5 rupees and would have taken 2 rupees which is the equivalent of 4-10 cents) I answered yes. I have no money. Free. She replied to me. Take this for free. Oh, no I couldn't I told her. No. Free. She insisted. It is good luck.
I was incredibly touched by her. She had almost nothing, materially, compared to me. She sells flowers for 4cents a bowl for a living. And yet, she was willing to give me one for free when she thought I had nothing. It helped me to realize that though people may appear to be suffering on the outside, they may not be on the inside. And I aspire to be as giving as her.
***
India's streets are an experience you cannot believe! I now understand the Indian drivers back in Chicago. They are not "bad" drivers, they are incredibly skilled. They just learned an entirely different skill set for driving here. You are safest on the street if you are a cow. They are plenty and no one hits them. I have seen more than one cow-related traffic jam!
As Trilbu just said to me (she is a friend reading over my shoulder waiting for a computer in a crowded little internet shop), "It gives a whole new meaning to HOLY COW!"
I love you all! I hope you are living your life in an alive and awake fashion!
Much love,
Dewa
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Halfway to halfway around the world
I'm tired and anticipating wonderful things.
halfway to halfway to just where I'm not yet sure, but the anticipation is delightful and the enthusiasm is rising!
halfway to halfway to just where I'm not yet sure, but the anticipation is delightful and the enthusiasm is rising!
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