Home is where you hold your heart

As I arrived back in Chicago I had a similar experience to you, Menma. I was writing an email to let those who loved me know I had arrived back safely in the states. I started by writing a title of "I'm home" to my india update email group, and I stopped and erased the title.

I titled the new email, "I'm back in the US!" ...and proceeded to carefully leave home out of the email entirely.

"Hello everyone,
I am safely at Glenwood Avenue! I took a VERY long, hot shower and ate a salad of fresh vegetables to celebrate American-style living.
And now I am relaxing and having a cup of tea to celebrate India-style living.
I love you all and will see you soon!
Aimee"

In India, a place felt like home when I had set up the altar. Unlike anytime in the past, I quickly moved to unpack when we arrived in a new place. But I was not rushing to unpack clothes--I was unpacking the outer objects of my dharma practice. I was carefully moving the furniture and arranging the objects to create a suitable altar, and checking in with my roomates to find out if they had additions to create our outer home. My clothes and toiletries remained packed until I absolutely needed them, but home had to be established first and my expression of creating home there was creating an altar.

Though I am back, I don't feel at home just being in my apartment and my city, and it's more than culture shock. I don't feel like there is a home on the outside in the same way I used to.

Those who love and care for me and have cared for me so carefully throughout my life will always be dear. In fact, despite my feeling of not being at home in the same way, I think I have a much larger appreciation of their care and kindness. But my view has changed.

Home is on the inside.
Home is where I hold my heart.
It's almost 2am here, and I need to teach tomorrow, but I think first I need to go to my cushion to check in with home.
Thank you so much, Rinpoche, for helping me to find home!
May you all hold home very dear and may you stay carefully connected to that which is truly home.

Love,
Dewa