A zillion hello's

Dear Sangha,

I guess people are viewing the blog less frequently now as life, day by day, like a space ship pulling away from a planet which once loomed large is now a memorable past. For me, our India retreat is like that now. I guess in time those memories will join the peat bog of our past experiences being buried more deeply as time passes by more current experiences.
The burning ghats experience we shared burned itself most deeply for me. I saw one body roasting red mosaic flesh where the cloth had burned away and I was not offended. It was a potent image of my fate and sometimes when I look in the mirror and notice another grey hair it reminds me how real that is and how much I would dread arriving at my death bed not having ever "got it".
Perhaps "got it" will mean different things to everyone. For me Buddhism, especially as delivered by Rinpoche, is like a big hand placing me in outer space and saying "look there all around". I can only imagine having the perceptions to see those glittering galaxies, multiple level realities and myriad beings constantly transforming and (for what?) I would think. Why so much effort and energy for the big ever changing light and sound show we are part of?
Back on earth I'm experiencing my mood swings again and the various other "my's" I am growing tired of. I only wish for arising altruism to become more engaged though it seems to happen in small moves. May it lead to action...may we all grow tired of our "my's" and express in unique ways our purpose for being here....and may we create a more awake world.
Hope everyone well and acknowledging your journey.


I said a zillion hello's to you
and saw you as one hundred
thousand butterflies
beautifying environments
Slept near you for an aeon
and pulled my jeans on
don't know how many times

Sat in the sun contemplating
for a million years
and saw a million cars
roll by where a million
saintly beings sat
a million years ago
and twiddled my thumbs
don't know how many times

Got angry with you five hundred
thousand times
and held resentments for
a millenia
while the earth spun trillions
and the creators looked on
holding everything in place for us
do you know how many times?

Looked in the mirror
a hundred trillion times
as the faults in my mind
arose and fell away
and I didn't see myself
as I put my make-up on
a billion years passed
I don't know how many times

Surrendered to the blows of
the carver's hands
for 200 million years
spending my days in a daze
for cycles and cycles
I looked up to a vast sky
that I thought I could become
and threw it all away...
I don't know... how many times